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"Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand."
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"I'm getting better now, but I used to be incredibly awkward with girls. I think any guy who says 'I've never had an awkward moment with a girl' is a liar."

"I feel there should have been some recognition of the Spice Girls at this year's 25th anniversary. We flew the flag for Britain around the globe in the 1990s and we achieved a hell of a lot."

"Straight girls like me. They flirt with me to get whatever they want. Of course it works."

"You eventually get used to looking at girls picking their leotards out of their bums and that sort of stuff."

"Girls. Jesus Christ. They can drive you crazy."

"I wanna record these girls individually. And then, I wanna cut a blues album on me. But all of it, original stuff, you know. When I listen to the blues today, it's like they all sounds similar. I wanna do something different, to try to add to the blues flavor."

"I think when you're a bigger star you get many good scripts sent to you, and you have to choose which one you're going to gravitate toward, but I just try to gravitate toward the best-written one that's been thrown my way after a lot of girls have passed on it."

"These two girls start wanting the same thing because in this neighborhood, they know all the guys so well. It's a small town and all the guys are just really boring to them."
Explore more quotes by Benny Hill


"The odds against there being a bomb on a plane are a million to one, and against two bombs a million times a million to one. Next time you fly, cut the odds and take a bomb."


"I thought I couldn't afford to take her out and smoke as well. So I gave up cigarettes. Then I took her out and one day I looked at her and thought: "Oh well," and I went back to smoking again, and that was better."
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