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"Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand."
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"I would never describe Charlotte as a prude - maybe at the start, but that was in comparison to the other girls. She wasn't willing to do the stuff they were doing - and I mean, thank goodness!"

"Too many girls follow the line of least resistance but a good line is hard to resist."

"We had a one bedroom, one bathroom, one closet apartment with four girls."

"The girls in high school who watched 90210? I was watching Seinfeld."

"Girls can wear jeans, cut their hair short, wear shirts and boots, 'cause it's okay to be a boy, but for a boy to look like a girl is degrading."

"I'm getting better now, but I used to be incredibly awkward with girls. I think any guy who says 'I've never had an awkward moment with a girl' is a liar."
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"The odds against there being a bomb on a plane are a million to one, and against two bombs a million times a million to one. Next time you fly, cut the odds and take a bomb."


"I thought I couldn't afford to take her out and smoke as well. So I gave up cigarettes. Then I took her out and one day I looked at her and thought: "Oh well," and I went back to smoking again, and that was better."
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