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"We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion."
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"The commonplace books of the old Puritans were invaluable to them. They would never have been able to compile such works as they did if they had not been careful in collecting and arranging their matter under different heads."
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Personal Development
"The only lesson you can learn from history is that it repeats itself."
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"Before printing was discovered, a century was equal to a thousand years."
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"What is history? An echo of the past in the future; a reflex from the future on the past."
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"Well, for us, in history where goodness is a rare pearl, he who was good almost takes precedence over he who was great."
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"Robbing people of their actual history is the same as robbing them of part of themselves. It's a crime."Fuka-Eri thought about that for a moment.Tengo went on, "Our memory is made up of our individual memories and our collective memories. The two are intimately linked. And history is our collective memory. If our collective memory is taken from us - is rewritten - we lose the ability to sustain our true selves."
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"Mankind, not womankind, has slaughtered more humans in the name of God and Religion than for any other reason."
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"It is notorious that the news of the Emancipation Proclamation was kept from the people of Texas and not celebrated until 'Juneteenth'. There may be those in Texas now who believe they can insulate their state-a state that had its own courageous revolution-from the news of evolution and from the writing in 1786 of a Constitution that refuses to mention religion except when demarcating and limiting its role in the public square. But we promise them today that they will join their fore-runners in the flat-earth community, and in the mad clerical clique of those who believed that the sun revolved around the earth. Yes, they will be in schoolbooks-as a joke on the epic scale of William Jennings Bryan. We shall be fair, and take care to ensure that their tale is told."
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"Many if not most slaves would have each readily jumped, and many if not most slaves would each readily jump, at the opportunity to be a master, if such an opportunity presents or had presented itself."
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"Mr. Charles Dickens was serializing his novel Oliver Twist; Mr. Draper had just taken the first photograph of the moon, freezing her pale face on cold paper; Mr. Morse had recently announced a way of transmitting messages down metal wires. Had you mentioned magic or Faerie to any of them, they would have smiled at you disdainfully, except, perhaps for Mr. Dickens, at the time a young man, and beardless. He would have looked at you wistfully."
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"I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back."
College
"Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted."
Man
"I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin."
Want
"An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt."
Tax
"Imitation is the sincerest form of television."
Imitation
"My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense."
Father
"The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi."
First
"A gentleman is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on."
Gentleman
"I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me."
People
"A conference is a gathering of people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done."
People
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