top of page
.png){kind=small}
"Even though your kids will consistently do the exact opposite of what you're telling them to do, you have to keep loving them just as much."
Standard
Customized
More
"If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right."
Father
"Old is always fifteen years from now."
Now
"Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it."
Life
"Even though your kids will consistently do the exact opposite of what you're telling them to do, you have to keep loving them just as much."
Kids
"Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry."
End
"Any man today who returns from work, sinks into a chair, and calls for his pipe is a man with an appetite for danger."
Work
"A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he's in there, as if he needed company. The only way for this father to be certain of bathroom privacy is to shave at the gas station."
Father
"I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody."
Success
"No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal."
Parenting
"Civilization had too many rules for me, so I did my best to rewrite them."
Civilization
More
"If you want your writing to be taken seriously, don't marry and have kids, and above all, don't die. But if you have to die, commit suicide. They approve of that."
Author Name
Personal Development
"If I don't see my kids for six days, I start to get withdrawal pains."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The Twilight Zone' wasn't around with the kids. They think going up in space is neat. Within their lifetime, there will be paying passengers on the shuttle."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I've had lots of kids come up and ask for my autograph, I've had a grandmother stop me and ask me if I know a good place to buy underwear."
Author Name
Personal Development
"We were taught manners and we had to do our chores - Katie and I grew up as normal kids."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I have an almost seven year old... I think it's essential to be consistent with kids. And truthful, without scaring them. I could go on for hours on this one."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I always felt I was living in two worlds. One was the Mexican world, because nearly everybody I knew, relatives and cousins and kids in the neighbourhood, were Mexican. Then school was a different world. It was ethnically mixed."
Author Name
Personal Development
"We still want to idealize moms, and sometimes we want to idealize actresses who are moms, too. I know that's something I've experienced, but we're all just doing the best we can and we're all trying to raise our kids and talk to them about everything that needs to be discussed."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Adopted kids are such a pain - you have to teach them how to look like you."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I advise all the young kids to not overwork. You can't be out there blowing hard. You have to pace yourself."
Author Name
Personal Development
bottom of page