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"No one knows if Saddam is still alive. They keep showing old footage of him on TV saying that it's live. You know, it's like the same thing we do with Dick Cheney."
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"The Ancient Mariner would not have taken so well if it had been called The Old Sailor."
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Personal Development
"So it's really nice after about a year and a half to get back on stage and flex those old muscles."
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Personal Development
"If you're a reporter, the easiest thing in the world is to get a story. The hardest thing is to verify. The old sins were about getting something wrong, that was a cardinal sin. The new sin is to be boring."
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Personal Development
"Old #64 chose... a gentle jog, fast enough to prove I was alive, slow enough to savor the cheers. They washed over me. They warmed me. I knew I could live without them but I loved them."
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Personal Development
"No, I'm not a French designer either. I'm from nowhere. I'm a European, old European is all I am."
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Personal Development
"Once you are over 30, 35 years old, I think everyone should get down to the gym and start moving again."
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Personal Development
"I would like to go to University and be like a normal 20 year old."
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Personal Development
"It's really a grand old, legendary theatre where the spirits of like Judy Garland and all these great performers have been. The clubs are way more underground."
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Personal Development
"He tells you stories, but then, after a while, when you want more, he doesn't give you more. He insists on this old elaboration, the old stories that never changes."
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Personal Development
"I cannot sing the old songs now! It is not that I deem them low, 'Tis that I can't remember how They go."
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"Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, 'I've got a doctor with me 24 hours a day.' Yeah, that's always the sign of a man in good health, isn't it?"
Health
"There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting."
Business
"I know these jokes aren't great, ladies and gentlemen, see this is the problem you run into when you're between impeachments."
Ladies
"Yesterday Senator John Kerry changed his mind and now supports the ban on gay marriages. I'm telling you this guy has more positions than Paris Hilton."
Gay
"Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger."
Importance
"I had no idea this thing was televised. Boy, is my face red."
Idea
"We make a lot of fun at President Clinton's expense. But this transition is going to be tough because it's been 25 years since this guy has gotten laid in the private sector."
Fun
"Here's a little known fact - Arnold is the first body builder to run for governor since Janet Reno."
Body
"There is no off position on the genius switch."
Genius
"USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every four people make up 75% of the population."
People
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