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Humor Quotes
"Tony and I had a good on and off screen relationship, we are two very different people, but we did share a sense of humor, we now live in different parts of the world but when we find ourselves in the same place it is more or less as if there had been no years in between."
11
"Humor is not a mood but a way of looking at the world. So if it is correct to say that humor was stamped out in Nazi Germany, that does not mean that people were not in good spirits, or anything of that sort, but something much deeper and more important."
11
"The three chief virtues of a programmer are: Laziness, Impatience and Hubris."
11
"Well, darkness with humor... I'm not an extremely suicidal or sad person."
10
"Please believe me. I've nothing against you personally. It's just that I laugh at all jokes."
10
"The difference between a misfortune and a calamity is this: If Gladstone fell into the Thames, it would be a misfortune. But if someone dragged him out again, that would be a calamity."
9
"How do you tell a communist? Well, it's someone who reads Marx and Lenin. And how do you tell an anti-Communist? It's someone who understands Marx and Lenin."
9
"I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself."
9
"Since when has the world of computer software design been about what people want? This is a simple question of evolution. The day is quickly coming when every knee will bow down to a silicon fist, and you will all beg your binary gods for mercy."
9
"There are two things that are more difficult than making an after-dinner speech: climbing a wall which is leaning toward you and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you."
9
"He has all of the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
9
"Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself."
9
"Since the goal of my programs is to show audiences how humor can both help them heal as well as deal with not-so-funny stuff, I decided to discuss the events of the previous week, the pain all of us were feeling, and how humor and some laughter might be beneficial."
8
"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office."
8
"A successful lawsuit is the one worn by a policeman."
8
"A consultant: someone brought in to build a one-handled wheelbarrow."
8
"Taking crazy things seriously is a serious waste of time."
7
"If one tends to be a humorous person and you have a sense of humor the rest of your life then you can certainly lighten the load, I think, by bringing that to your trials and tribulations. It's easy to have a sense of humor when everything is going well."
7
"Like almost everyone who uses e-mail, I receive a ton of spam every day. Much of it offers to help me get out of debt or get rich quick. It would be funny if it weren't so exciting."
7
"I can't count the men who have tried to seduce me away from my virtue by teaching me how to defend it."
7
"Vice is a creature of such hideous mien... that the more you see it the better you like it."
7
"Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing."
7
"Imagine if you will:At the highly secretive, largely independent, inter-dimensional and (inevitably) clandestine organization called the Time Saving Agency, there is a saying that goes: 'You can't break an omelet without first making eggs'. While this may appear to be a rather flippant little idiom, there is " as is usually the case, far more to it than meets the eye."
7
"A laugh is a surprise. And all humor is physical. I was always athletic, so that came naturally to me."
7
"Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I'll forgive Thy great big joke on me."
7
"While it is true that Frank had a great sense of humor, he was also very serious about composing music. In reality there are only a handful of skilled players who can play his most complex pieces. It takes a lot of patience to learn and requires a fantastic memory."
6
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