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"You know, the Lord said to Adam: 'Come forth, come forth,' and he came fifth and won the fucking apple, do you know what I mean. If you can walk away, walk away but it's hard to do."
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"Where did you find that one?''I have no idea. I'm a magnet for crazies, I guess.''They must be able to sense a kindred spirit.''Your one to talk. Don't you have more hordes of the undead to lead in a glorious revolution?''Zombies not undead. There's a fine distinction. And no. Right now I'm scouting new talent. The glorious revolution comes tomorrow."
"I should curl up in a ball and cry. Instead i think about everything in the whole entire world that makes me angry - There is a lot, oh, there is a lot - and I start singing Justin Bieber at the top of my lungs."
"Don't panic. Are you sitting? You probably don't need to sit. Well, possibly. At least lean on something."
"Ah, hell.His peripheral vision was working far too well tonight.His slut of a cousin, his cocksucking, suit-wearing, Montblanc-up-the-ass cousin Saxton the Magnificent, was standing next to the queen, looking like a combination of Cary Grant and some model in a goddamn cologne ad.Not that Qhuinn was bitter.Because the guy was sharing Blay's bed.Nah.Nope. Not at all.The Cocksucker-With a wince, he thought maybe he should switch that insult to something a little farther away from what the two of them ...God, he couldn't even go there. Not if he wanted to breathe."
"Ma'am,' Augustus said, nodding toward her, 'your daughter's car has just been deservedly egged by a blind man. Please close the door and go back inside or we'll be forced to call the police.' After wavering for a moment, Monica's mom closed the door and disappeared."
"Be calm when your wife yells at you, calmer when she chastens you, but be terrified when she ignores you."
"Was it animal pee or human pee? Someone asked.How would I know? What, am I an expert in the study of pee?"
"Did you talk to him about it?""Oh, sure. Nothing happened, yadda yadda. The usual. But my maydar went off like crazy.""Maydar?""As in, he may be thinking about super hot sex with her. Like radar, only not as sure."
Explore more quotes by Stephen Richards
"Openness is also an acceptance that just as you have the inherent right to create your life as you see fit, so others have the same right with their own lives, even if their design differs from yours greatly."
"I was having a field day down the Westend; my deep pockets were jingling and full of money nearly every day of the week. My brother's bird, Irene, wanted a fur coat, so I got her one by throwing a brick through the shop window and grabbing the coat off the shop dummy. Once I got to the bed-sit, I put the jacket on and waltzed in to the flat looking like Liberace, the two of them burst out laughing. Irene was like a tramp eating chips. 'Let's try it on, Jimmy, please?' As she swooned around like Joan Collins with the fur coat on, she had the air of a council estate beauty queen about her."
"Remember your true self. You are more than just flesh and bones; you are unlimited energy and power. Knowing this, you will understand why happiness and prosperity are your birth right."
"Going one step further, imagine if you could influence your subconscious mind to send out the right vibes to your conscious mind! That is what you are doing with NAPS."
"Whatever you desire, it comes from the universe, and whatever you manifest, be it situations, the right partner, friend, or spouse, the right pet, anything at all, IS the universe, for the universe IS everything."
"I can't remember exactly when I started to steal, but I do remember being aware of the fact that if I wanted to enjoy myself and be popular, money was the way to do it."
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