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"Humor has bailed me out of more tight situations than I can think of. If you go with your instincts and keep your humor, creativity follows. With luck, success comes, too."
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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
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Personal Development
"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
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Personal Development
"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
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Personal Development
"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
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Personal Development
"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."
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Personal Development
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
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Personal Development
"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."
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Personal Development
"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"
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Personal Development
"I went to the kitchen and felt-up the turkey."
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Personal Development
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"Places I've lived since then had to have some kind of uniqueness and character about them. And logically Key West, and then Down Island. So, all of that stuff sort of had it's roots in New Orleans and went crazy."
Character
"If life gives you limes, make margaritas."
Life
"We are the people our parents warned us about."
People
"It's been wonderful for me, and I feel so privileged to have fans that are that loyal."
Fans
"Is it ignorance or apathy? Hey, I don't know and I don't care."
Apathy
"My mother insisted that her children read."
Mother
"Quitting doesn't enter my mind."
Mind
"These old ballparks are like cathedrals in America. We don't have big old Gothic cathedrals like they do in Europe. But we got baseball parks."
America
"Instinct taught me 20 years ago to pace a song or a concert performance. That translates into pacing a story, pleasing a reading audience."
Performance
"Elvis was the only man from Northeast Mississippi who could shake his hips and still be loved by rednecks, cops, and hippies."
Hippies
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