"Don't blame you," said Marvin and counted five hundred and ninety-seven thousand million sheep before falling asleep again a second later."

Humor, Sleep, Sheep, Exhaustion

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"Don't blame you," said Marvin and counted five hundred and ninety-seven thousand million sheep before falling asleep again a second later."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Rogerson," I asked him sweetly as we sat watching a video in the pool house, "where would I find the pelagic zone?""In the open sea," he said. "Now shut up and eat your Junior Mints."

Sarah Dessen, American Author

Humor, Knowledge, Curiosity, Learning

"Playing Solitaire is a non-smoking employee's smoke break."

Mokokoma Mokhonoana, South African Philosopher

Humor, Truth, Wisdom, Life, Regret

"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee."

Abraham Lincoln, American Politician

Humor, Coffee, Tea, President

"A sense of humor keen enough to show a man his own absurdities will keep him from the commission of all sins, or nearly all, save those worth committing."

Samuel Butler, British Poet

Humor, Man, Sense, Will

"Christ and The Church: If he were to apply for a divorce on the grounds of cruelty, adultery and desertion, he would probably get one."

Samuel Butler, British Poet

Humor, Adultery, Christ, Cruelty, Divorce

"England has forty-two religions and only two sauces."

Voltaire, French Writer

Humor, Religion, Diversity, Culture

"God is a comedian playing to an audience that is too afraid to laugh."

Voltaire, French Writer

Humor, God, Comedy, Fear, Laughter

"And then Mum spoons the coffee a little as if she's having fantasies of flinging it in Britt-Marie's face. But in a controlled way."

Fredrik Backman, Swedish Author

Humor, Family, Coffee, Emotion

"Stupidity is brief and guileless, while wit equivocates and hides. Wit is a scoundrel, while stupidity is honest and sincere."

Fyodor Dostoevsky, Russian Novelist

Humor, Stupidity, Wit, Honesty, Deception

"I say let the world go to hell, but I should always have my tea."

Fyodor Dostoevsky, Russian Novelist

Humor, Comfort, Tea, Indifference, Life

Explore more quotes by Douglas Adams

"The bowler approached the wicket at a lope, a trot, and then a run. He suddenly exploded in a flurry of arms and legs, out of which flew a ball."

Energy

"If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have on your hands is a non-working cat."

Science

"In an infinite Universe anything can happen," said Ford, "Even survival. Strange but true."

Science

"It is a West zone planet which by an inexplicable and somewhat suspicious freak of topography consists almost entirely of subtropical coastline. By an equally suspicious freak of temporal relastatics, it is nearly always Saturday afternoon just before the beach bars close. No adequate explanation for this has been forthcoming from the dominant life forms on Ursa Minor Beta, who spend most of their time attempting to achieve spiritual enlightenment by running round swimming pools, and inviting Investigation Officials from the Galactic Geo-Temporal Control Board to 'have a nice diurnal anomaly."

Science

"And then, just when you think that you have experienced all the wonders that this world has to offer, you round a peak and suddenly think you're doing the whole thing over again, but this time on drugs."

Experience

"He hadn't realized that life speaks with a voice to you, a voice that brings you answers for the questions you continually ask of it, had never consciously detected it or recognized its tones until it now said something it had never said to him before, which was "yes"."

Life

"How many roads must a man walk down?"

Life

"We have a saying up here. 'Life is wasted on the living."

Philosophy

"I have terrible periods of lack of confidence. I just don't believe I can do it and no evidence to the contrary will sway me from that view."

Psychology

"Beppu (n.)The triumphant slamming shut of a book after reading the final page."

Joy