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"The key to good eavesdropping is not getting caught."
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"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
"She breathed an enormous sigh, looked at Poirot, Looked away, and suddenly blurted out, "You're too old. Nobody told me you were so old. I really don't want to be rude but - there it is. You're too old. I'm really sorry." She turned abruptly and blundered out of the room, rather like a desperate moth in lamplight. Poirot, his mouth open, heard the bang of the front door. He ejaculated: "Non d'un nom d'un nom..."
"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."
Explore more quotes by Lemony Snicket
"Sunny did not eat the wood, of course, but she chewed on it and pretended it was a carrot, or an apple, or a beef and cheese enchilada, all of which she loved."
"That night was a dark day. Of course, all nights are dark days, because night is simply a badly lit version of day, ..."
"Like many people who dress in black, the lump of coal was interested in becoming an artist."
"If you were upset about an ugly pimple on the end of your nose, you might try to feel better by keeping your pimple in perspective. You might compare your pimple situation to that of someone who was being eaten by a bear, and when you looked in the mirror at your ugly pimple, you could say to yourself, 'Well, at least I'm not being eaten by a bear."
"In any case, this is how all our stories begin, in darkness with our eyes closed, and all our stories end the same way, too, with all of us uttering some last words-or perhaps someone else's-before slipping back into darkness as our series of unfortunate events comes to an end."
"People who think nothing can go wrong are usually disappointed."
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