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"I figure I'll be champ for about ten years and then I'll let my brother take over - like the Kennedys down in Washington."
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"Sometimes absurd logic can be amusing and heart-touching."
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Personal Development
"Alimony: the cash surrender value of a husband."
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Personal Development
"Beware of giggle grins, they are highly contagious."
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Personal Development
"When I reprimanded my son for hair like Michael Jackson he said: "I don't see the problem you wear yours like Michael Jordan.""
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Personal Development
"God, you had enough time to have been through it three times. You've been through my stuff. I bet you over and let one of you stick the world's longest finger up my ass. If a prostate check is an exam, that was a motherfucking safari. I was scared to look down. I thought I'd see that guy's finger nail sticking out of my cock."
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Personal Development
"God alert!" Blackjack yelled. "It's the wine dude!Mr. D sighed in exasperation. "The next person, or horse, who calls me the 'wine dude' will end up in a bottle of Merlot!"
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Personal Development
"Probably went swimming and got eaten by a pineapple."
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Personal Development
"Monkeys who very sensibly refrain from speech, lest they should be set to earn their livings."
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Personal Development
"You always do good ones. We trust you, Mr. Duke," Says Dylan. Foolish lads, thinks Felix: never trust a professional ham."
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Personal Development
"Igor?' said Moist. 'You have an Igor?'Oh, yes,' said Hubert. 'That's how I get this wonderful light. They know the secret of storing lightning in jars! But don't let that worry you, Mr Lipspick. Just because I'm employing an Igor and working in a cellar doesn't mean I'm some sort of madman, ha ha ha!'Ha ha,' agreed Moist.Ha hah hah!,' said Hubert. 'Hahahahahaha!! Ahahahahahahhhhh!!!!!-'Bent slapped him on the back. Hubert coughed.Sorry about that, it's the air down here,' he mumbled."
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"Frazier is so ugly that he should donate his face to the US Bureau of Wild Life."
Humor
"A man who views the world the same at fifty as he did at twenty has wasted thirty years of his life."
Wisdom
"There are more pleasant things to do than beat up people."
Wisdom
"Silence is golden when you can't think of a good answer."
Attitude
"I figure I'll be champ for about ten years and then I'll let my brother take over - like the Kennedys down in Washington."
Humor
"Boxing is a lot of white men watching two black men beat each other up."
Humor
"The man who has no imagination has no wings."
Imagination
"There are no pleasures in a fight but some of my fights have been a pleasure to win."
Success
"A rooster crows only when it sees the light. Put him in the dark and he'll never crow. I have seen the light and I'm crowing."
Inspirational
"Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth."
Attitude
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