"Vice is a creature of such hideous mien... that the more you see it the better you like it."

Humor, Vice

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"Vice is a creature of such hideous mien... that the more you see it the better you like it."

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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"

Anthony Liccione, American Author

Humor, Trust, Mistake, Learning

"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."

Michael Bassey Johnson, Nigerian Philosopher

Humor, Comedy, Stupidity, Life, Love

"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Confusion, Logic, Irony

"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"

C. JoyBell C., American Author

Humor, Self, Life, Joy

"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."

Richelle Mead, American Author

Humor, Dance, Sex, Judgment

"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Women, Needs, Attention

"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Humor, Weight, Warning, Technology

"Comedy strikes here... just to reduce pressure and depression."

Deyth Banger, American Blogger

Humor, Truth, Power, Wisdom

"They're both bungholes who think they're too noble to shit."

George R. R. Martin, American Author

Humor, Conflict, Judgment, Truth

"She breathed an enormous sigh, looked at Poirot, Looked away, and suddenly blurted out, "You're too old. Nobody told me you were so old. I really don't want to be rude but - there it is. You're too old. I'm really sorry." She turned abruptly and blundered out of the room, rather like a desperate moth in lamplight. Poirot, his mouth open, heard the bang of the front door. He ejaculated: "Non d'un nom d'un nom..."

Agatha Christie, English Writer

Humor, Aging, Appearance, Truth

Explore more quotes by Finley Peter Dunne

"Most vegetarians look so much like the food they eat that they can be classified as cannibals."

Food

"The past always looks better than it was. It's only pleasant because it isn't here."

Past

"The only good husbands stay bachelors: They're too considerate to get married."

Humor

"There are no friends at cards or world politics."

Friendship

"A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks the Lord would do if He knew the facts of the case."

Fact

"Trust everybody, but cut the cards."

Trust

"The world is not growing worse and it is not growing better - it is just turning around as usual."

World

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Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"

"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."

"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."

"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"

"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."

"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."

"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."

"Comedy strikes here... just to reduce pressure and depression."

"They're both bungholes who think they're too noble to shit."

Explore more quotes by Finley Peter Dunne

"Most vegetarians look so much like the food they eat that they can be classified as cannibals."

"Don't jump on a man unless he is down."

"An appeal is when you ask one court to show it's contempt for another court."

"It don't make much difference what you study, so long as you don't like it."

"The past always looks better than it was. It's only pleasant because it isn't here."

"The only good husbands stay bachelors: They're too considerate to get married."

"There are no friends at cards or world politics."

"A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks the Lord would do if He knew the facts of the case."

"Trust everybody, but cut the cards."

"The world is not growing worse and it is not growing better - it is just turning around as usual."