"Vice is a creature of such hideous mien... that the more you see it the better you like it."

Humor, Vice

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"Vice is a creature of such hideous mien... that the more you see it the better you like it."

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"Don't panic. Are you sitting? You probably don't need to sit. Well, possibly. At least lean on something."

Maggie Stiefvater, American Author

Humor, Calm, Reassurance, Fear

"Ma'am,' Augustus said, nodding toward her, 'your daughter's car has just been deservedly egged by a blind man. Please close the door and go back inside or we'll be forced to call the police.' After wavering for a moment, Monica's mom closed the door and disappeared."

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Charles Bukowski, American Author

Humor, Life, Daily, Routine

"Silverfish looked down."Oh. Are you a dwarf?"Cuddy gave him a blank stare."Are you a giant?" He said."Me? Of course not!"Ah. Then I must be a dwarf, yes."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Humor, Identity, Giants, Truth

"What's a philosopher?' said Brutha.Someone who's bright enough to find a job with no heavy lifting,' said a voice in his head."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

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"At this, Gansey rolled over onto his back and folded his hands on his chest. He wore a salmon polo shirt, which, in Blue's opinion, was far more hellish than anything they'd discussed to this point."

Maggie Stiefvater, American Author

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"Reason like a sphere? What type of reasoning does a wooden sphere do?""The circular type, I should think. And, by coincidence, it is my favorite type as well. Perhaps that's why I'm so good at the game."

Brandon Sanderson, American Author

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"Lovemaking is a big grammatical error, i think it should be, LustMaking."

Michael Bassey Johnson, Nigerian Philosopher

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"If there was an elephant in the supermarket, she'd either not see it at all, or call it Mrs Jones and talk about fishcakes."

Jeanette Winterson, British Novelist

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Explore more quotes by Finley Peter Dunne

"The past always looks better than it was. It's only pleasant because it isn't here."

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"An appeal is when you ask one court to show it's contempt for another court."

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"The only good husbands stay bachelors: They're too considerate to get married."

Humor

"A lie with a purpose is one of the worst kind, and the most profitable."

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"The world is not growing worse and it is not growing better - it is just turning around as usual."

World

"Trust everybody, but cut the cards."

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"There ain't any news in being good. You might write the doings of all the convents of the world on the back of a postage stamp, and have room to spare."

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"One of the strangest things about life is that the poor, who need the money the most, are the ones that never have it."

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"Don't jump on a man unless he is down."

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"A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks the Lord would do if He knew the facts of the case."

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