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"Rogerson," I asked him sweetly as we sat watching a video in the pool house, "where would I find the pelagic zone?""In the open sea," he said. "Now shut up and eat your Junior Mints."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Playing Solitaire is a non-smoking employee's smoke break."
Author Name
Personal Development
"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee."
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Personal Development
"A sense of humor keen enough to show a man his own absurdities will keep him from the commission of all sins, or nearly all, save those worth committing."
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Personal Development
"Christ and The Church: If he were to apply for a divorce on the grounds of cruelty, adultery and desertion, he would probably get one."
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Personal Development
"England has forty-two religions and only two sauces."
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Personal Development
"God is a comedian playing to an audience that is too afraid to laugh."
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Personal Development
"And then Mum spoons the coffee a little as if she's having fantasies of flinging it in Britt-Marie's face. But in a controlled way."
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Personal Development
"Stupidity is brief and guileless, while wit equivocates and hides. Wit is a scoundrel, while stupidity is honest and sincere."
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Personal Development
"I say let the world go to hell, but I should always have my tea."
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Personal Development
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"I will always love to perform standup comedy."
Love
"I believe it is important for comedians to know who came before them."
Comedians
"I was an actor before becoming a comedian."
Actor
"I am in the Master of Professional Writing program teaching Humor Writing, Literary and Dramatic."
Humor
"My whole act is confession."
Act
"I quit smoking well over twenty years ago."
Smoking
"While you're improvising, you may come up with something which will break him up. As soon as that smile comes out, you know that, hey, we're having fun."
Fun
"So that this thing that aired in 1963 would result a few years later in personal bankruptcy, would result in having people be on edge with me, wondering when I'm going to blow up."
People
"The Steve Allen Sunday night show had the right to two options after my first performance."
Performance
"The old problems - love, money, security, status, health, etc. - are still here to plague us or please us."
Health
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