"Oh, what lies there are in kisses."

Humor, Kisses, Lies

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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"

Anthony Liccione, American Author

Humor, Trust, Mistake, Learning

"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."

Michael Bassey Johnson, Nigerian Philosopher

Humor, Comedy, Stupidity, Life, Love

"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Confusion, Logic, Irony

"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"

C. JoyBell C., American Author

Humor, Self, Life, Joy

"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."

Richelle Mead, American Author

Humor, Dance, Sex, Judgment

"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Women, Needs, Attention

"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Humor, Weight, Warning, Technology

"Comedy strikes here... just to reduce pressure and depression."

Deyth Banger, American Blogger

Humor, Truth, Power, Wisdom

"They're both bungholes who think they're too noble to shit."

George R. R. Martin, American Author

Humor, Conflict, Judgment, Truth

"She breathed an enormous sigh, looked at Poirot, Looked away, and suddenly blurted out, "You're too old. Nobody told me you were so old. I really don't want to be rude but - there it is. You're too old. I'm really sorry." She turned abruptly and blundered out of the room, rather like a desperate moth in lamplight. Poirot, his mouth open, heard the bang of the front door. He ejaculated: "Non d'un nom d'un nom..."

Agatha Christie, English Writer

Humor, Aging, Appearance, Truth

Explore more quotes by Heinrich Heine

"Christ rode on an ass, but now asses ride on Christ."

Christian

"Like a great poet, Nature knows how to produce the greatest effects with the most limited means."

Nature

"In earlier religions the spirit of the time was expressed through the individual and confirmed by miracles. In modern religions the spirit is expressed through the many and confirmed by reason."

Time

"I fell asleep reading a dull book and dreamed I kept on reading, so I awoke from sheer boredom."

Reading

"The fundamental evil of the world arose from the fact that the good Lord has not created money enough."

Money

"If the Romans had been obliged to learn Latin, they would never have found time to conquer the world."

Time

"When the heroes go off the stage, the clowns come on."

Criticism

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Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"

"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."

"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."

"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"

"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."

"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."

"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."

"Comedy strikes here... just to reduce pressure and depression."

"They're both bungholes who think they're too noble to shit."

Explore more quotes by Heinrich Heine

"Christ rode on an ass, but now asses ride on Christ."

"Like a great poet, Nature knows how to produce the greatest effects with the most limited means."

"In earlier religions the spirit of the time was expressed through the individual and confirmed by miracles. In modern religions the spirit is expressed through the many and confirmed by reason."

"I fell asleep reading a dull book and dreamed I kept on reading, so I awoke from sheer boredom."

"The fundamental evil of the world arose from the fact that the good Lord has not created money enough."

"In these times we fight for ideas and newspapers are our fortress."

"Whatever tears one may shed, in the end one always blows one's nose."

"Woman is at once apple and serpent."

"If the Romans had been obliged to learn Latin, they would never have found time to conquer the world."

"When the heroes go off the stage, the clowns come on."