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"Secret to what?""Secret to shutting you up," he said. "I just have to beat you till you're half-dead, then give you chicken soup and"--he raised his hands--"blessed silence."
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"If it weren't for the last minute nothing would get done."
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Personal Development
"When you love someone, you don't care that she ate your sandwich. You only hope she found it delicious."
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Personal Development
"Some kleptomaniacs do not steal things only; they also, while some only, steal lovers."
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Personal Development
"You know, Aunt Tasha makes jokes about how youE1d actually be a better queen than the others, except sometimes . . . I donE1t think sheE1s joking."
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Personal Development
"A tie is what you get after ice cubes have wrestled with hot water."
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Personal Development
"Zombies are far better than religious people, because they do not discriminate in killing."
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Personal Development
"Your party kicked so much ass!Even though you suck so much! It's like, instead of blood, your heart pumps liquid suck! But thanks for the beer!"
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Personal Development
"Some people make spectacles of themselves with a couple of glasses."
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Personal Development
"I've stopped drinking, but only while I'm asleep."
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Personal Development
"Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don't laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions."
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Personal Development
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"Some people had attack dogs. Ghastek had attack lawyers."
Politics
"Not only will you sleep with me, but you will say 'please.'"I stared at him, shocked. The smile widened. "You will say 'please' before and 'thank you' after." Nervous laughter bubbled up. "You've gone insane. All that peroxide in your hair finally did your brain in, Goldilocks."
Relationship
"So far I had the god of evil and the god of terror on my side. My good-guy image was taking a serious beating. Maybe I should recruit some unicorns or kittens with rainbow powers to even us out."
Humor
"It seems that the young woman made some indelicate suggestion of a threesome...When I got there, Miss Nash was standing by the hot tub in a small bikini, pointing the business end of a SIG-Sauer P-226 at her fella and concerned members of the hotel staff, while dunking the scantily clad female's head under the water and asking, "Who's diving for clams now, bitch?"
Adventure
"You might want to decide fast. We live in a dangerous world. If you see a chance to be happy, you have to fight for it, so later you have no regrets."
Motivation
"He leaned toward me. Suddenly the space between us shrank."I will do everything in my power to ensure your survival, and should the need arise, I will put myself between danger and you." His voice was quiet and intimate. "Do not hesitate to use me as your shield."His voice sent tiny shivers through me.Wow."
Protection
"When she looked at him with those dark eyes, Nassar felt the urge to say something intelligent and deeply impressive. Unfortunately, nothing of the kind came to mind."
Humor
"Everybody has something, that one thing they must do to feel happy. I think this is yours, and I want you to be happy. You don't have to do it, but it's here if you choose to come back to it."
Encouragement
"Help me, I can't breathe, your ego is pushing all the air out of the room."
Sarcasm
"Kid 1: *examining my gorgeous strawberry and blueberry pies*: Wow, Mom, your pies don't look awful this time.Me (Ilona): ...~A little later~Kid 2: *wandering into the kitchen*Kid 1: Hey, you've got to see these pies. *opening the stove*Kid 2: Wow. They are not ugly this time.Kid 1: I know, right?"
Family
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