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"Your life story would not make a good book. Don't even try."
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Exlpore more Humor quotes
"Some kleptomaniacs do not steal things only; they also, while some only, steal lovers."
"You know, Aunt Tasha makes jokes about how youE1d actually be a better queen than the others, except sometimes . . . I donE1t think sheE1s joking."
"A tie is what you get after ice cubes have wrestled with hot water."
"Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don't laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions."
Explore more quotes by Fran Lebowitz
"Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won't feel like watching."
"I place a high moral value on the way people behave. I find it repellent to have a lot, and to behave with anything other than courtesy in the old sense of the word - politeness of the heart, a gentleness of the spirit."
"Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk."
"Designer clothes worn by children are like snowsuits worn by adults. Few can carry it off successfully."
"Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat."
"I must take issue with the term 'a mere child,' for it has been my invariable experience that the company of a mere child is infinitely preferable to that of a mere adult."
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