"Your life story would not make a good book. Don't even try."

Humor, Life

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"Your life story would not make a good book. Don't even try."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Don't panic. Are you sitting? You probably don't need to sit. Well, possibly. At least lean on something."

Maggie Stiefvater, American Author

Humor, Calm, Reassurance, Fear

"Ma'am,' Augustus said, nodding toward her, 'your daughter's car has just been deservedly egged by a blind man. Please close the door and go back inside or we'll be forced to call the police.' After wavering for a moment, Monica's mom closed the door and disappeared."

John Green, American Author

Humor, Police, Interaction, Social

"WHAT FOR IS THIS BOX PADDED? IS IT TO BE SAT ON? CAN IT BE THAT IT IS CAT-FLAVOURED?"

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Humor, Death, Confusion, Box

" Think of how many times you put on your underwear in a lifetime. It was appalling, it was disgusting, it was stupid."

Charles Bukowski, American Author

Humor, Life, Daily, Routine

"Silverfish looked down."Oh. Are you a dwarf?"Cuddy gave him a blank stare."Are you a giant?" He said."Me? Of course not!"Ah. Then I must be a dwarf, yes."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Humor, Identity, Giants, Truth

"What's a philosopher?' said Brutha.Someone who's bright enough to find a job with no heavy lifting,' said a voice in his head."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Humor, Truth, Happiness, Power, Today

"At this, Gansey rolled over onto his back and folded his hands on his chest. He wore a salmon polo shirt, which, in Blue's opinion, was far more hellish than anything they'd discussed to this point."

Maggie Stiefvater, American Author

Humor, Appearance, Opinion, Judgment

"Reason like a sphere? What type of reasoning does a wooden sphere do?""The circular type, I should think. And, by coincidence, it is my favorite type as well. Perhaps that's why I'm so good at the game."

Brandon Sanderson, American Author

Humor, Logic, Reason, Games

"Lovemaking is a big grammatical error, i think it should be, LustMaking."

Michael Bassey Johnson, Nigerian Philosopher

Humor, Love, Lust, Language, Truth

"If there was an elephant in the supermarket, she'd either not see it at all, or call it Mrs Jones and talk about fishcakes."

Jeanette Winterson, British Novelist

Humor, Perception, Reality, Imagination

Explore more quotes by Fran Lebowitz

"Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat."

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"Andy Warhol made fame more famous."

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"Designer clothes worn by children are like snowsuits worn by adults. Few can carry it off successfully."

Humor

"When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is. Clean is not enough."

Wisdom

"In the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy."

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"Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep."

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"All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable."

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"My favorite animal is steak."

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"Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you."

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"If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words."

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