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"If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning."
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"Your party kicked so much ass!Even though you suck so much! It's like, instead of blood, your heart pumps liquid suck! But thanks for the beer!"
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Personal Development
"Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don't laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions."
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Personal Development
"The moment you have a self at all, there is a possibility of putting yourself first - wanting to be the centre - wanting to be God, in fact. That was the sin of Satan: and that was the sin he taught the human race. Some people think the fall of man had something to do with sex, but that is a mistake...what Satan put into the heads of our remote ancestors was the idea that they 'could be like Gods' - could set up on their own as if they had created themselves - be their own masters - invent some sort of happiness for themselves outside God, apart from God. And out of that hopeless attempt has come...the long terrible story of man trying to find something other than God which will make him happy."
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Personal Development
"I used to think that size does not count, until I realized that most people either find other people's faeces more disgusting than a bird's droppings, or they do not find the latter disgusting at all."
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Personal Development
"Maybe humans are just the pet alligators that God flushed down the toilet."
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Personal Development
"The real satire starts when I'm shockingly mocked,not mockingly shocked."
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Personal Development
"They are fond of fun and therefore witty, wit being well-bred insolence."
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Personal Development
"Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is."
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Personal Development
"People who are not blessed with the ability to make others laugh compensate for that by saying (or trying to say) things that are profound."
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Personal Development
"We can't all be comedians, some people have to do the laughing."
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Personal Development
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"It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light."
Motivational
"After a certain point, money is meaningless. It ceases to be the goal. The game is what counts."
Success
"If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning."
Humor
"The secret of business is to know something that nobody else knows."
Wisdom
"We must free ourselves of the hope that the sea will ever rest. We must learn to sail in high winds."
Progress
"Find a priest who understands English and doesn't look like Rasputin."
Humor
"I have no friends and no enemies - only competitors."
Friendship
"To succeed in business it is necessary to make others see things as you see them."
Leadership
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