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"The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy also mentions alcohol. It says that the best drink in existence is the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster, the effect of which is like having your brains smashed out with a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick."
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"Rogerson," I asked him sweetly as we sat watching a video in the pool house, "where would I find the pelagic zone?""In the open sea," he said. "Now shut up and eat your Junior Mints."
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Personal Development
"Playing Solitaire is a non-smoking employee's smoke break."
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Personal Development
"A sense of humor keen enough to show a man his own absurdities will keep him from the commission of all sins, or nearly all, save those worth committing."
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"Christ and The Church: If he were to apply for a divorce on the grounds of cruelty, adultery and desertion, he would probably get one."
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"England has forty-two religions and only two sauces."
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"God is a comedian playing to an audience that is too afraid to laugh."
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Personal Development
"Stupidity is brief and guileless, while wit equivocates and hides. Wit is a scoundrel, while stupidity is honest and sincere."
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Personal Development
"I say let the world go to hell, but I should always have my tea."
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Personal Development
"Southern DADDY-Dandy At Doin' Diapers Y'all!"
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"He is limp and damp and milder than the breath of a cow."
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"Beppu (n.)The triumphant slamming shut of a book after reading the final page."
Joy
"He sniggered.He didn't like to think of himself as the sort of person who giggled or sniggered, but he had to admit that he had been giggling and sniggering almost continuously for well over half an hour now."
Personality
"When one day an expedition was sent to the spatial coordinates that Voojagig had claimed for the planet they discovered only a small asteroid inhabited by a solitary old man who claimed repeatedly that nothing was true, though he was later discovered to be lying."
Fiction
"The only moral it is possible to draw from this story is that one should never throw the Q letter into a privet bush, but unfortunately there are times when it is unavoidable."
Ethics
"I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons."
Tax
"The story so far:In the beginning the Universe was created.This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."
Philosophy
"His eyes passed over the solid shapes of the instruments and computers that lined the bridge. They winked away innocently at him. He stared out at the stars, but none of them said a word."
Observation
"You come to me for advice, but you can't cope with anything you don't recognize. Hmmm. So we'll have to tell you something you already know but make it sound like news, eh Well, business as usual , I suppose."
Advice
"The Ultimate Answer to Life, The Universe and Everything is...42!"
Philosophy
"Life is wasted on the living."
Life
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