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Humor Quotes
"I have made it a rule never to smoke more that one cigar at a time."
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"Humor is also a way of saying something serious."
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"He that has a great nose thinks everybody is speaking of it."
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"I'm going to have to give him shit for all this,' Shane said, as he wandered around. 'He lives alone and makes his bed? Who does that?''People who like things neat?''Its not natural."
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"The Yankees don't pay me to win every day, just two out of three."
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"Humor has bailed me out of more tight situations than I can think of. If you go with your instincts and keep your humor, creativity follows. With luck, success comes, too."
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"Kant thought things, not because they were true, but because he was Kant."
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"Sometimes it seems that haters are just fans who are in denial."
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"Name the greatest of all inventors: Accident."
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"A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself."
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"A fly Sir may sting a stately horse and make him wince but one is but an insect and the other a horse still."
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"And we mustn't lose our sense of humor," Mrs. Which said. "The only way to cope with something deadly serious is to try to treat it a little lightly."
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"You are fifty different kinds of twisted.""Only fifty? Val, you wound me."
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"Mr. Wopsle's great-aunt kept an evening school in the village; that is to say, she was a ridiculous old woman of limited means and unlimited infirmity, who used to go to sleep from six to seven every evening, in the society of youth who paid two pence per week each, for the improving opportunity of seeing her do it."
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"You may not like the humor, but that is why every radio has an on-off button."
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"In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra."
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"When I find that stubbornness continually overrides common sense regardless of the logic of my argument, it seems that the only effective solution is to tell them to go ahead and stick their finger in the socket. And what I find is that what my argument failed to solve, electricity does quite nicely."
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"We can't all be comedians, some people have to do the laughing."
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"As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula."
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