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Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Probably went swimming and got eaten by a pineapple."

"Monkeys who very sensibly refrain from speech, lest they should be set to earn their livings."

"Igor?' said Moist. 'You have an Igor?'Oh, yes,' said Hubert. 'That's how I get this wonderful light. They know the secret of storing lightning in jars! But don't let that worry you, Mr Lipspick. Just because I'm employing an Igor and working in a cellar doesn't mean I'm some sort of madman, ha ha ha!'Ha ha,' agreed Moist.Ha hah hah!,' said Hubert. 'Hahahahahaha!! Ahahahahahahhhhh!!!!!-'Bent slapped him on the back. Hubert coughed.Sorry about that, it's the air down here,' he mumbled."

"This was beyond a joke. This had moved beyond foolishness, slipped over the line into genuine 24 karat Jesus-Christ-I-fucked-up-bigtime territory."

"Some kid asked what a dilemma is. And I replied: When a starving man has to choose between a plate of food, and, a roll of toilet paper."
Explore more quotes by Samuel Butler

"Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them."

"A drunkard would not give money to sober people. He said they would only eat it, and buy clothes and send their children to school with it."

"Those who have never had a father can at any rate never know the sweets of losing one. To most men the death of his father is a new lease of life."

"The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too."

"Christ was only crucified once and for a few hours. Think of the hundreds of thousands whom Christ has been crucifying in a quiet way ever since."
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