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"I'm not an expert on the Malaysian sense of humor."
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"If it weren't for the last minute nothing would get done."
Author Name
Personal Development
"When you love someone, you don't care that she ate your sandwich. You only hope she found it delicious."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Some kleptomaniacs do not steal things only; they also, while some only, steal lovers."
Author Name
Personal Development
"You know, Aunt Tasha makes jokes about how youE1d actually be a better queen than the others, except sometimes . . . I donE1t think sheE1s joking."
Author Name
Personal Development
"A tie is what you get after ice cubes have wrestled with hot water."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Zombies are far better than religious people, because they do not discriminate in killing."
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Personal Development
"Your party kicked so much ass!Even though you suck so much! It's like, instead of blood, your heart pumps liquid suck! But thanks for the beer!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"Some people make spectacles of themselves with a couple of glasses."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I've stopped drinking, but only while I'm asleep."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don't laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions."
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Personal Development
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"You're freaked out that you're going to be having a child, and once you're looking after your daughter, it's the most beautiful thing in the world."
Daughter
"I don't think know if anything's going to translate anywhere. You're making a movie, you hope it's going to be funny, you can't think about how it's going to go over."
Funny
"Jim Carrey, a comic genius, has a harder time overcoming the public's desire for him to be funny simply because he's so good at it."
Funny
"Even when I'm not directing, that doesn't stop Owen from having ideas for what I should be doing."
Ideas
"I enjoy the work I do in comedies. It's a valid test of your creative abilities."
Work
"Maybe forced retirement isn't necessary after all."
Retirement
"Sometimes I wondered whether I hadn't let my career get confined to one direction, but lately I've decided to accept the fact that I have this opportunity to be successful doing comedies."
Opportunity
"Whatever talent I had, I'm sure it helped that my parents were in the business and that I grew up around actors, comedians and directors."
Business
"Zoolander was more of my own sensibility."
Sensibility
"My own parents were touchy-feely."
Parents
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