"You gotta learn that if you don't get it by midnight, chances are you ain't gonna get it, and if you do, it ain't worth it."

"Don't cut my throat, I may want to do that later myself."

"The Yankees don't pay me to win every day, just two out of three."

"They say some of my stars drink whiskey, but I have found that ones who drink milkshakes don't win many ball games."

"Two hundred million Americans, and there ain't two good catchers among 'em."

"All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height."

"The trouble is not that players have sex the night before a game. It's that they stay out all night looking for it."

"There comes a time in every man's life, and I've had plenty of them."

"They told me my services were no longer desired because they wanted to put in a youth program as an advance way of keeping the club going. I'll never make the mistake of being seventy again."

"Never make predictions, especially about the future."

"Been in this game one-hundred years, but I see new ways to lose 'em I never knew existed before."

"If we're going to win the pennant, we've got to start thinking we're not as good as we think we are."

"It's wonderful to meet so many friends that I didn't used to like."

"I was such a dangerous hitter I even got intentional walks during batting practice."

"Finding good players is easy. Getting them to play as a team is another story."

"You gotta lose 'em some of the time. When you do, lose 'em right."

"The trouble with women umpires is that I couldn't argue with one. I'd put my arms around her and give her a little kiss."

"Oldtimers, weekends, and airplane landings are alike. If you can walk away from them, they're successful."

"Managing is getting paid for home runs that someone else hits."

"Most ball games are lost, not won."

"The key to being a good manager is keeping the people who hate me away from those who are still undecided."

"Good pitching will always stop good hitting and vice-versa."

"The secret of successful managing is to keep the five guys who hate you away from the four guys who haven't made up their minds."

"The trick is growing up without growing old."

"Most games are lost, not won."

"You have to go broke three times to learn how to make a living."

"Sure I played, did you think I was born at the age of 70 sitting in a dugout trying to manage guys like you?"

"I got players with bad watches - they can't tell midnight from noon."

"Son, we'd like to keep you around this season but we're going to try and win a pennant."

"When you are younger you get blamed for crimes you never committed and when you're older you begin to get credit for virtues you never possessed. It evens itself out."

"Don't drink in the hotel bar, that's where I do my drinking."

"Ability is the art of getting credit for all the home runs somebody else hits."

"If you're so smart, let's see you get out of the Army."

"I was not successful as a ball player, as it was a game of skill."