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M.F. Moonzajer

"Women are like shower faucets, you must treat them carefully, because if you do not, it will either burn your balls or freeze your ass."

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"Women are like shower faucets, you must treat them carefully, because if you do not, it will either burn your balls or freeze your ass."

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"Alimony: the cash surrender value of a husband."

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"Beware of giggle grins, they are highly contagious."

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"When I reprimanded my son for hair like Michael Jackson he said: "I don't see the problem you wear yours like Michael Jordan.""

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"God alert!" Blackjack yelled. "It's the wine dude!Mr. D sighed in exasperation. "The next person, or horse, who calls me the 'wine dude' will end up in a bottle of Merlot!"

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"Probably went swimming and got eaten by a pineapple."

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"Monkeys who very sensibly refrain from speech, lest they should be set to earn their livings."

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"Igor?' said Moist. 'You have an Igor?'Oh, yes,' said Hubert. 'That's how I get this wonderful light. They know the secret of storing lightning in jars! But don't let that worry you, Mr Lipspick. Just because I'm employing an Igor and working in a cellar doesn't mean I'm some sort of madman, ha ha ha!'Ha ha,' agreed Moist.Ha hah hah!,' said Hubert. 'Hahahahahaha!! Ahahahahahahhhhh!!!!!-'Bent slapped him on the back. Hubert coughed.Sorry about that, it's the air down here,' he mumbled."

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"This was beyond a joke. This had moved beyond foolishness, slipped over the line into genuine 24 karat Jesus-Christ-I-fucked-up-bigtime territory."

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"Some kid asked what a dilemma is. And I replied: When a starving man has to choose between a plate of food, and, a roll of toilet paper."

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"If silence of the days and darkness of the nights is the indicator of the doomsday, we are already in it."
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"From the first day we have been fighting the wrong enemy, our common enemy is religion which dictates upon us division and partition."
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"Humans do worse things with money rather than for money."
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"Humans have nothing to do with angels and fairies, then why still I love you?"
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"We loved our homeland for thousands of years which cost us climate change and environmental degradation because we were too selfish to care about the nature, now it is time that we must love our world at least for a little time."
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"You are the end of beauty and creativity one must have created so far."
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"When you succeed, everyone wants to be part of it; but when you fail everyone seems outsider."
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"It is so good that you can love someone for how long you want and no one can arrest you for that crime."
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"I am a religious by the heart, but an atheist by the mind."
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"I hear it a lot "Heaven is under the women feet, I doubt that; I found it between them."
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