"Pride is all very well, but a sausage is a sausage."

Humor, Pride, Wisdom, Truth

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"Pride is all very well, but a sausage is a sausage."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"He smiles, and he's made of trouble. We should have dropped him in the Thames in a bag of stones. We should have left him out for the fairies."

Rainbow Rowell, American Author

Humor, Danger, Trouble, Judgment

"Rogerson," I asked him sweetly as we sat watching a video in the pool house, "where would I find the pelagic zone?""In the open sea," he said. "Now shut up and eat your Junior Mints."

Sarah Dessen, American Author

Humor, Knowledge, Curiosity, Learning

"Playing Solitaire is a non-smoking employee's smoke break."

Mokokoma Mokhonoana, South African Philosopher

Humor, Truth, Wisdom, Life, Regret

"The fun we'll have tonight is called figging."

Cherise Sinclair, American Author

Humor, Anticipation, Adventure, Secrecy

"Wit is the only wall between us and the dark."

Mark Van Doren, American Poet

Humor, Wit

"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee."

Abraham Lincoln, American Politician

Humor, Coffee, Tea, President

"I liked the humor of it, I've always enjoyed a sense of humor in God and in religion and in spirituality."

Amber Tamblyn, American Actress

Humor, Religion, God, Sense

"I just meant maybe you could set here and drink one of em with me.He squinted at her. You ever notice how women have trouble takin no for a answer? I think itstarts about age three.What about men?They get used to it. They better."

Cormac McCarthy, American Writer

Humor, Women, Men, Aging, Experience

"A sense of humor keen enough to show a man his own absurdities will keep him from the commission of all sins, or nearly all, save those worth committing."

Samuel Butler, British Poet

Humor, Man, Sense, Will

"Christ and The Church: If he were to apply for a divorce on the grounds of cruelty, adultery and desertion, he would probably get one."

Samuel Butler, British Poet

Humor, Adultery, Christ, Cruelty, Divorce

Explore more quotes by Terry Pratchett

"Time was something that largely happened to other people; he viewed it in the same way that people on the shore viewed the sea. It was big and it was out there, and sometimes it was an invigorating thing to dip a toe into, but you couldn't live in it all the time. Besides, it always made his skin wrinkle."

Truth

"Everywhere's been where it is ever since it was first put there. It's called geography."

Existence

"The universe is, instant by instant, recreated anew. There is in truth no past, only a memory of the past. Blink your eyes, and the world you see next did not exist when you closed them. Therefore, the only appropriate state of the mind is surprise. The only appropriate state of the heart is joy. The sky you see now, you have never seen before. The perfect moment is now. Be glad of it."

Mindfulness

"There are millions of chords. There are millions of numbers. And everyone forgets the one that is a zero. But without the zero, numbers are just arithmetic. Without the empty chord, music is just noise."

Art

"He knew from experience that true and obvious ideas, such as the ineffable wisdom and judgment of the Great God Om, seemed so obscure to many people that you actually had to kill them before they saw the error of their ways..."

Religion

"You say that you people don't burn folk and sacrifice people anymore, but that's what true faith would mean, y'see? Sacrificin' your own life, one day at a time, to the flame, declarin' the truth of it, workin' for it, breathin' the soul of it. That's religion. Anything else is just . . . is just bein' nice. And a way of keepin' in touch with the neighbors."

Religion

"No, what he didn't like about heroes was that they were usually suicidally gloomy when sober and homicidally insane when drunk."

Heroes

"'Educational' refers to the process, not the object. Although, come to think of it, some of my teachers could easily have been replaced by a cheeseburger."

Entertainment

"Witches just aren't like that, said Magrat. "We live in harmony with the great cycles of Nature, and do no harm to anyone, and it's wicked of them to say we don't. We ought to fill their bones with hot lead."The other two looked at her with a certain amount of surprised admiration. She blushed, although not greenly, and looked at her knees."Goodie Whemper did a recipe, she confessed. "It's quite easy. What you do is, you get some lead, and you-"I don't think that would be appropriate, said Granny carefully, after a certain amount of internal struggle. "It could give people the wrong idea."But not for long, said Nanny wistfully."

Morality

"What have I always believed?That on the whole, and by and large, if a man lived properly, not according to what any priests said, but according to what seemed decent and honest inside, then it would, at the end, more or less, turn out all right."

Morality