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"A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself."
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"Laughter can deflate almost any problem down to its proper size."
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Personal Development
"The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives."
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Personal Development
"The Rum Tum Tugger is a Curious Cat:If you offer him pheasant he would rather have grouse.If you put him in a house he would much prefer a flat,If you put him in a flat then he'd rather have a house.If you set him on a mouse then he only wants a rat,If you set him on a rat then he'd rather chase a mouse.Yes the Rum Tum Tugger is a Curious Cat -And there isn't any call for me to shout it:For he will doAs he do doAnd there's no doing anything about it!"
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Personal Development
"When you're lost in space, it's time to buy some new furniture!"
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Personal Development
"If you have to explain your sense of humor, then you are performing for the wrong crowd."
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Personal Development
"For a man seldom thinks with more earnestness of anything than he does of his dinner."
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"It's a terrible thing for a man when his woman gangs up on him wi' a toad."
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"You won't enjoy it," sighed Crowley. "It's been in the car for more than a fortnight." A heavy bass beat began to thump through the Bentley as they sped past Heathrow. Aziraphale's brow furrowed. "I don't recognize this," he said. "What is it?" "It's Tchaikovsky's 'Another One Bites the Dust'," said Crowley, closing his eyes as they went through Slough. To while away the time as they crossed the sleeping Chilterns, they also listened to William Byrd's "We Are the Champions" and Beethoven's "I Want To Break Free." Neither were as good as Vaughan Williams's "Fat-Bottomed Girls."
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"Igor?' said Moist. 'You have an Igor?'Oh, yes,' said Hubert. 'That's how I get this wonderful light. They know the secret of storing lightning in jars! But don't let that worry you, Mr Lipspick. Just because I'm employing an Igor and working in a cellar doesn't mean I'm some sort of madman, ha ha ha!'Ha ha,' agreed Moist.Ha hah hah!,' said Hubert. 'Hahahahahaha!! Ahahahahahahhhhh!!!!!-'Bent slapped him on the back. Hubert coughed.Sorry about that, it's the air down here,' he mumbled."
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"Texan starting eternity: I never dreamed heaven would be so much like Texas. companion: Who said this was heaven?"
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Explore more quotes by Doug Larson
"Some of the world's greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible."
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"Nostalgia is a file that removes the rough edges from the good old days."
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"If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers."
Language
"The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate."
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"Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog."
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"The only nice thing about being imperfect is the joy it brings to others."
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"A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself."
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"There are few things more satisfying than seeing your children have teenagers of their own."
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"The reason people blame things on previous generations is that there's only one other choice."
People
"Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk."
Wisdom
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