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Terry Pratchett

"Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life."

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"Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life."

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Donna Grant

"Irony, we want our handwriting to look like typed fonts, and our computer fonts to look like handwritten text."

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Donna Grant

"I have forgotten all about my school days. I have a vague impression that they were detestable."

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Donna Grant

"I have a business appointment that I am anxious... to miss."

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Donna Grant

"Certainly it constitutes bad news when the people who agree with you are buggier than batshit."

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Donna Grant

"I don't understand this irony - valuable things like cars, gold, diamond are made up of hard materials but most valuable things like money, contracts and books are made up of soft paper."

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Donna Grant

"A peaceful refuge in which to rediscover each other, we thought,, not realizing that, while golf and fishing are Scotland's most popular outdoor sports, gossip is the most popular indoor sport."

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Donna Grant

"Sandar came to stand beside him, frowning down at the crumpled High Lord. "He does not look so mighty lying there," he said wonderingly. "He does not look so much greater than me.""

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Donna Grant

"And what's the irony?...In the end... we call the enemy friends... the fake people again friends... should I continue here with the words?"

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Donna Grant

"Boston is a moral and intellectual nursery always busy applying first principles to trifles."

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Donna Grant

"What a moron I was to think you were sweet and innocent, when it turns out you were actually college-educated the whole time!"

Explore more quotes by Terry Pratchett

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Terry Pratchett
"But you can't just leave it at that!" said Anathema, pushing forward. "Think of all things you could do! Good things."Like what?" said Adam suspiciously."Well... you could bring all the whales back, to start with."He put his head on one side. "An' that'd stop people killing them?"She hesitated. It would have been nice to say yes."An' if people do start killing 'em, what would you ask me to do about 'em?" said Adam. "No. I reckon I'm getting the hang of this now. Once I start messing around like that, there'd be no stoppin' it. Seems to me, the only sensible thing is for people to know if they kill a whale, they've got a dead whale."
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Terry Pratchett
"Anyway, it's like with bikes,' said the first speaker authoritatively. 'I thought I was going to get this bike with seven gears and one of them razorblade saddles and purple paint and everything, and they gave me this light blue one. With a basket. A girl's bike.''Well. You're a girl,' said one of the others.'That's sexism, that is. Going around giving people girly presents just because they're a girl."
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Terry Pratchett
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
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Terry Pratchett
"One cannot help feeling that some alternative occupation-lettuce farming, say-would offer somewhat less of a risk of being put to death by installments. Why do you persist in it?Goldeneyes Dactylos shrugged."I'm good at it, he said."
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Terry Pratchett
"Writing is the most fun you can have by yourself."
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Terry Pratchett
"I believe the term is 'eminent domain.'Ah, yes. That means 'theft by the government."
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Terry Pratchett
"It's all about balance, do you see? Balance is the trick. Keep the balance and - " she stopped. "You've ridden on a seesaw? One end goes up, one end goes down. But the bit in the middle, that stays where it is. Upness and downness go right through it. Don't matter how high or low the ends go, it keeps the balance." She sniffed. "Magic is mostly movin' stuff around."
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Terry Pratchett
"Sometimes thinking is like talking to another person, but that person is also you."
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Terry Pratchett
"Questions don't have to make sense, Vincent," said Miss Susan. "But answers do."
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Terry Pratchett
"Dwarfs were not a naturally religious species, but in a world where pit props could crack without warning and pockets of fire damp could suddenly explode they'd seen the need for gods as the sort of supernatural equivalent of a hard hat. Besides, when you hit your thumb with an eight-pound hammer it's nice to be able to blaspheme. It takes a very special and strong-minded kind of atheist to jump up and down with their hand clasped under their other armpit and shout, "Oh, random-fluctuations-in-the-space-time-continuum!" or "Aaargh, primitive-and-outmoded-concept on a crutch!"
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