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Mark Twain

"Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat."

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"Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat."

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Amber Hurdle

"The funny part of being funny is when you start seeing your fans writing funny words and attributing them to you."

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Amber Hurdle

"Happiness is a big joke, let us laugh at it loud."

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Amber Hurdle

"Miss Bingley's congratulations to her brother, on his approaching marriage, were all that was affectionate and insincere."

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Amber Hurdle

"If there were a master of stupidity in this world, I would really love to listen to his success story."

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Amber Hurdle

"And what's the irony?...In the end... we call the enemy friends... the fake people again friends... should I continue here with the words?"

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Amber Hurdle

"I'm sucking on a cancer stick trying to think of something inspiring to say to help someone have a better life. That's "Irony"."

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Amber Hurdle

"There is a way of reacting to insult that gives people the impression that you want more. I don't know what it is, but I seem to have mastered it."

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Amber Hurdle

"I wonder if they were aware of the power of complimentary alcohol during World War I."

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Amber Hurdle

"If you see this guy drowning, do not stop him, it might be Peter trying to walk on water reaching Christ."

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Amber Hurdle

"If warm air rises, Heaven could be hotter than Hell."

Explore more quotes by Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
"The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little."
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Mark Twain
"Denial ain't just a river in Egypt."
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Mark Twain
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare."
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Mark Twain
"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first."
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Mark Twain
"You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus."
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Mark Twain
"There are those who would misteach us that to stick in a rut is consistency and a virtue and that to climb out of the rut is inconsistency and a vice."
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Mark Twain
"An honest man in politics shines more there than he would elsewhere."
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Mark Twain
"He had discovered a great law of human action, without knowing it, namely, that, in order to make a man or a boy covet a thing, it is only necessary to make the thing difficult to attain."
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Mark Twain
"The air up there in the clouds is very pure and fine, bracing and delicious. And why shouldn't it be?--it is the same the angels breathe."
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Mark Twain
"Life itself is only a vision, a dream.""Nothing exists; all is a dream. God--man--the world--the sun, the moon, the wilderness of stars--a dream, all a dream; they have no existence. Nothing exists save empty space--and you!"
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