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"It just happens to be the way that I'm made. I have to write things down to feel I fully comprehend them."
Writing
"You live by yourself for a stretch of time and you get to staring at different objects. Sometimes you talk to yourself. You take meals in crowded joints. You develop an intimate relationship with your used Subaru. You slowly but surely become a has-been."
Self
"It was as if my whole life revolved around trying to judge the appropriate point in a conversation to say goodbye."
Social
"One other thing I learned from working in a company was that the majority of people in the world have no problem following orders. They're actually happy to be told what to do. They might complain, but that's not how they really feel. They just grumble out of habit. If you told them to think for themselves, and make their own decisions and take responsibility for them, they'd be clueless."
Responsibility
"I don't know much about the world, but I do know one thing for sure. If I'm pessimistic, then the adults in this world who are not pessimistic are a bunch of idiots."
Truth
"I'm not afraid to die. What I'm afraid of is having reality get the better of me, of having reality leave me behind."
Fear
"There are three ways you can get along with a girl: one, shut up and listen to what she has to say; two, tell her you like what she's wearing; and three, treat her to really good food...If you do all that and still don't get the results you want, better give up."
Relationship
"He decided not to ask for details. Better to avoid exposing his ignorance even further."
Technology
"There are symbolic dreams-dreams that symbolize some reality. Then there are symbolic realities-realities that symbolize a dream."
Philosophy
"In any case, though, I believe that I have not been fair to you and that, as a result, I must have led you around in circles and hurt you deeply."
Emotion
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"I have forgotten all about my school days. I have a vague impression that they were detestable."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The funny part of being funny is when you start seeing your fans writing funny words and attributing them to you."
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Personal Development
"Starving whilst schooled is like a man's finding out that his wife is on her periods - a few seconds after he took Viagra."
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Personal Development
"I always listen to you. Except when I don't."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I'm sucking on a cancer stick trying to think of something inspiring to say to help someone have a better life. That's "Irony"."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The happiness of the superficial: when a man who has lost his donkey finds it again."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Irony: When those who call others a 'threat to Christianity' reject the crucial tenets of their own faith themselves."
Author Name
Personal Development
"What a moron I was to think you were sweet and innocent, when it turns out you were actually college-educated the whole time!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"And what's the irony?...In the end... we call the enemy friends... the fake people again friends... should I continue here with the words?"
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Personal Development
"What happens if a car comes? We die."
Author Name
Personal Development
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