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"Happiness: an agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another."
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"I have a business appointment that I am anxious... to miss."

"Certainly it constitutes bad news when the people who agree with you are buggier than batshit."

"A peaceful refuge in which to rediscover each other, we thought,, not realizing that, while golf and fishing are Scotland's most popular outdoor sports, gossip is the most popular indoor sport."

"Sandar came to stand beside him, frowning down at the crumpled High Lord. "He does not look so mighty lying there," he said wonderingly. "He does not look so much greater than me.""
Explore more quotes by Ambrose Bierce

"What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country."

"Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope."

"Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead."

"Experience - the wisdom that enables us to recognise in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly that we have already embraced."

"Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead."
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