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"Starving whilst schooled is like a man's finding out that his wife is on her periods - a few seconds after he took Viagra."
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"Some victories are merely defeat wearing the wrong clothing."
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Personal Development
"It is not true that the English invented cricket as a way of making all other human endeavors look interesting and lively, that was merely an unintended side effect."
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Personal Development
"I hope you're not proposing to enslave us,' said Twoflower.Marchesa looked genuinely shocked. 'Certainly not! Whatever could have given you that idea? Your lives in Krull will be rich, full and comfortable-''Oh, good,' said Rincewind.'-just not very long."
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Personal Development
"If you see this guy drowning, do not stop him, it might be Peter trying to walk on water reaching Christ."
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Personal Development
"Look innocent. Have hope. "Okay. "And remember "What? "Even O.J. Simpson was acquitted."
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Personal Development
"Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but tequila makes it so she doesn't give a shit if she's fond of you are not."
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Personal Development
"I always think it's funny when Indians celebrate Thanksgiving. I mean, sure, the Indians and Pilgrims were best friends during the first Thanksgiving, but a few years later, the Pilgrims were shooting Indians.So I'm never quite sure why we eat turkey like everybody else."
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Personal Development
"Ha, ' I said. 'Oh, ha - ha. Yeah, 'cause they love me. You see how many vampires are up here? Zero, right?'One, ' said Eric, stepping out of the stairwell."
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Personal Development
"If warm air rises, Heaven could be hotter than Hell."
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Personal Development
"You're right, my problems are the biggest problems ever," George said. "No, honestly, it's horrible to be me. I'm rich, talented, and I make girls cry.""How do you make girls cry, exactly?"George turned to her. His blue eyes widened. His lovely face took on a forlorn, deeply troubled expression. He leaned forward, and, in a theatrical whisper, said, "My past is tragic. I wouldn't want to burden you with it. It's a pain I must suffer alone. In the rain. In silence."
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Personal Development
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"Most parents are not really 'supportive' because they want their kid(s) to succeed; they 'support' their kid(s) as an attempt to avoid appearing to have bred a failure, or, failures - in the eyes of their peers and/or neighbours."
Parenting
"Retro is a symptom of a generation that is too lazy to innovate."
Culture
"AIDS would have claimed fewer lives if we had publicly recommended what I wish to call 'The Presumption of Sickness,' i.e., the principle that whomever we are about to sleep with is HIV-positive until proven HIV-negative."
Health
"Some people respect some people only because some people respect them."
Respect
"Thou shalt not think that thou be a leader, merely because thee be having more than 0 followers."
Leadership
"Happiness is a temporary recurring human experience."
Emotion
"Some people are each envious of the person they used to be."
Psychology
"No single bad person regards themselves as a bad person."
Psychology
"An expensive coffin does not decrease the deceased's chances of going to hell."
Mortality
"The answer to the question 'How many children do you have?' and the one to the question 'How many children are you raising?' are not identical in all cases: some men are not taking care of their own children, some are knowingly or unknowingly raising other men's children, and some do not even know that they each have a child, another child, or other children."
Parenting
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