"If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?"

Irony, Humor, Absurdity, Silence

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"If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?"

Exlpore more Irony quotes

"Irony, we want our handwriting to look like typed fonts, and our computer fonts to look like handwritten text."

Vikrmn, Indian Author

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"If there were a master of stupidity in this world, I would really love to listen to his success story."

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"I don't understand this irony - valuable things like cars, gold, diamond are made up of hard materials but most valuable things like money, contracts and books are made up of soft paper."

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"With the persistent loud voice, fool asks us to respect serenity."

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"There's stranger sex than sex with strangers."

Kris Kidd, American Writer

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"I am the most pious person in the room. Even though I have no pie - I have pizza, and what can be more virtuous than eating all by yourself?"

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"The worst thing about irony for me is that it attenuates emotion."

David Foster Wallace, American Writer

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"I think this goes more to the idea of 'relentless irony' than 'divine providence."

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"Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but tequila makes it so she doesn't give a shit if she's fond of you are not."

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"Maybe knowledge is power, but it ain't nearly as as satisfying as punching some smart ass in the chops."

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Explore more quotes by Steven Wright

"What happens if you get scared half to death twice?"

Humor

"People may think I'm trying something new by telling stories, but they're just jokes connected to give the illusion of stories. But really, I just continue using my imagination and creating. That's what I do."

Art

"You know those things that you throw the twigs into and it spits them out? That's what I do. The branches are like life, and I throw them into my head and some of it comes out as humor."

Creativity

"I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room."

Comedy

"I don't feel that I'm explaining the world or teaching people anything. And I'm not trying to be a mirror, showing them what's really going on the world. All I'm trying to do is think of stuff that's funny, just like when I'm kidding around with my friends."

Comedy

"It doesn't matter what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature."

Science

"The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?"

Reflection

"I paint; I draw and paint - I've been doing that since I was in third grade, drawing realistically and then changing to abstract art. That was my first creative thing before guitar or comedy."

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"If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you."

Failure

"I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."

Humor