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Exlpore more Irony quotes

"Parents drinking is the reason you came into the world, and if we didn't keep doing it then, by God, it would be the reason you went back out of it."

"Certainly it constitutes bad news when the people who agree with you are buggier than batshit."
Explore more quotes by Steven Wright


"In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number."


"I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room."


"I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died."


"I don't like politicians, and I don't like politics. I definitely don't want to be associated with any of them."
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