"If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?"

Irony, Humor, Absurdity, Silence

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"If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?"

Exlpore more Irony quotes

"I asked this heroic pet lover how it felt to have died for a schnauzer named Teddy. Salvador Biagiani was philosophical. He said it sure beat dying for absolutely nothing in the Viet Nam War."

Kurt Vonnegut, American Author

Irony, War, Pet, Death, Meaning

"If "Frailty, thy name is woman", Frailty must be a man named as 'woman."

Munia Khan, Bangladeshi Poet

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"I don't understand this irony - valuable things like cars, gold, diamond are made up of hard materials but most valuable things like money, contracts and books are made up of soft paper."

Amit Kalantri, Indian Author

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"A drunken but exceedingly depressed German clown from Munich entertained the public."

Fyodor Dostoevsky, Russian Novelist

Irony, Entertainment, Depression, Life

"The laugh left a bitter taste in our mouths, but we laughed out all the same."

Haruki Murakami, Japanese Writer

Irony, Laughter, Sadness

"Brain research tells us that only twenty percent of human beings have a sense of irony, which means that eighty percent of the world takes everything at face value."

Doug Coupland, Canadian Author

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"Ha, ' I said. 'Oh, ha - ha. Yeah, 'cause they love me. You see how many vampires are up here? Zero, right?'One, ' said Eric, stepping out of the stairwell."

Charlaine Harris, American Author

Irony, Humor, Dialogue, Surprise

"Bless you with the curse to remain busy always."

Amit Abraham, Indian Motivational Speaker

Irony, Life, Humor, Observation, Reflection

"Maybe knowledge is power, but it ain't nearly as as satisfying as punching some smart ass in the chops."

Lois Greiman, American Author

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"It is not true that the English invented cricket as a way of making all other human endeavors look interesting and lively, that was merely an unintended side effect."

Bill Bryson, American Writer

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Explore more quotes by Steven Wright

"Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?"

Curiosity

"So I figured I'd leave the area, because I had no ties there anyway except for this girl I was seeing. We had conflicting attitudes: I really wasn't into meditating and she wasn't really into being alive. I told her I knew when I was going to die because my birth certificate has an expiration date."

Existentialism

"If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny."

Thought

"If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?"

Paradox

"I put tape on the mirrors in my house so I don't accidentally walk through into another dimension."

Surrealism

"I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, 'Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours.' He said, 'Yes, but not in a row.'"

Open

"I got this powdered water - now I don't know what to add."

Now

"I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone."

Car

"I installed a skylight in my apartment... the people who live above me are furious!"

People

"I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it."

Time