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Jasper Fforde

"I've managed to bring the backlog down to a mere sixty-eight years," she announced with some small sense of achievement. "I hope to be able to start marking the papers of pupils who are still alive by the end of the decade."

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"I've managed to bring the backlog down to a mere sixty-eight years," she announced with some small sense of achievement. "I hope to be able to start marking the papers of pupils who are still alive by the end of the decade."

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Amber Hurdle

"If there were a master of stupidity in this world, I would really love to listen to his success story."

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Amber Hurdle

"With the persistent loud voice, fool asks us to respect serenity."

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Amber Hurdle

"There's stranger sex than sex with strangers."

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Amber Hurdle

"I am the most pious person in the room. Even though I have no pie - I have pizza, and what can be more virtuous than eating all by yourself?"

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Amber Hurdle

"In wars, boy, fools kill other fools for foolish causes."

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Amber Hurdle

"Sandar came to stand beside him, frowning down at the crumpled High Lord. "He does not look so mighty lying there," he said wonderingly. "He does not look so much greater than me.""

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Amber Hurdle

"The boring thing with 'No sex before marriage' is that kids will never get to attend their parents' wedding."

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Amber Hurdle

"It is the oldest ironies that are still the most satisfying: man, when preparing for bloody war, will orate loudly and most eloquently in the name of peace."

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Amber Hurdle

"I have forgotten all about my school days. I have a vague impression that they were detestable."

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Amber Hurdle

"Ha, ' I said. 'Oh, ha - ha. Yeah, 'cause they love me. You see how many vampires are up here? Zero, right?'One, ' said Eric, stepping out of the stairwell."

Explore more quotes by Jasper Fforde

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Jasper Fforde
"After all, reading is arguably a far more creative and imaginative process than writing; when the reader creates emotion in their head, or the colors of the sky during the setting sun, or the smell of a warm summer's breeze on their face, they should reserve as much praise for themselves as they do for the writer - perhaps more."
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Jasper Fforde
"So you're going to have to ask yourselves on simple question: Which one of us is speaking now?"
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Jasper Fforde
"My only companion from the outside world during nineteen years of isolation has been my personal hatred of Thursday Next. It's kind of like the old me suddenly taking over, and I promised myself that this was how I would act if I ever saw you.' 'I have the same thing, but with Tom Stoppard,' I said. 'You'd kill Tom Stoppard?' 'Not at all. I promised myself many years ago that I would throw myself at his feet and scream "I'm not worthy!" if I ever met him, so now if we're ever at the same party or something, I have to be at pains to avoid him. It would be undignified, you see-for him and for me."
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Jasper Fforde
"Books may look like nothing more than words on a page, but they are actually an infinitely complex imaginotransference technology that translates odd, inky squiggles into pictures inside your head."
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Jasper Fforde
"People don't change just because you know more about them."
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Jasper Fforde
"Well, that's it." I said after we had waited for another five minutes and found ourselves still in a state of pleasantly welcome existence. "The ChronoGuard has shut itself down and time travel is as it should be: technically, logically, and theoretically...impossible." "Good thing, too," reply Landon. "It always made my head ache. In fact, I was thinking of doing self help book for science-fiction novelists eager to write about time travel. It would consist of a single word: Don't."
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Jasper Fforde
"The only way to write is to write. Writers write. And when they've written, they write some more."
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Jasper Fforde
"Rouge of my heart, intertwined with double-hued destiny,Thread of my thoughts, constant and rubicund legacy,Filament of my future, endeared unto my expectation,Cord of my emotion, seared with eternal elation."
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Jasper Fforde
"Governments and fashions come and go but Jane Eyre is for all time."
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Jasper Fforde
"Two minds with but a single thought, two hearts that beat as one."
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