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"The funny part of being funny is when you start seeing your fans writing funny words and attributing them to you."
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"I have forgotten all about my school days. I have a vague impression that they were detestable."
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Personal Development
"I have a business appointment that I am anxious... to miss."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Certainly it constitutes bad news when the people who agree with you are buggier than batshit."
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Personal Development
"And what's the irony?...In the end... we call the enemy friends... the fake people again friends... should I continue here with the words?"
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Personal Development
"Boston is a moral and intellectual nursery always busy applying first principles to trifles."
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Personal Development
"You're right, my problems are the biggest problems ever," George said. "No, honestly, it's horrible to be me. I'm rich, talented, and I make girls cry.""How do you make girls cry, exactly?"George turned to her. His blue eyes widened. His lovely face took on a forlorn, deeply troubled expression. He leaned forward, and, in a theatrical whisper, said, "My past is tragic. I wouldn't want to burden you with it. It's a pain I must suffer alone. In the rain. In silence."
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Personal Development
"I think this goes more to the idea of 'relentless irony' than 'divine providence."
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Personal Development
"It is only because of their stupidity that they are able to be so sure of themselves."
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Personal Development
"I wonder if they were aware of the power of complimentary alcohol during World War I."
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Personal Development
"Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but tequila makes it so she doesn't give a shit if she's fond of you are not."
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Personal Development
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"I have read the bible, seen its errors and perfections, but the bits of lie contained therein has contaminated the truth."
Religion
"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
Humor
"For you to make your creative work creative, you must seek creativity from the creator."
Creativity
"To lose a worthless friend is worthy of a testimony."
Friendship
"There are certain truths that occurs to us, which we cannot convey in words, but requires a personal experience to grasp more vividly."
Truth
"Idleness is a form of passivity in an active universe."
Philosophy
"Lust is the blessing of the fruit of the womb."
Desire
"Your emotions will wander like a vagabond when you're indebted. Those happy moments with friends will soon be interrupted with a frowning creditor in your sub-conscious, and all your frenzy will be taken aback."
Emotion
"When the fuel is dried up in a vehicle, it stops driving automatically. You are a vehicle in the spiritual and the physical world, so you need some oil for alacrity, in order to get to your destination. The greater the quantity of your oil, the more you cover the distance, and the more you cover the distance, the closer you get to your success."
Motivation
"The life of a writer is directed by a mad impulsive muse, that can tell them to cancel all their storyline: a creative divergent devil."
Art
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