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"And thanks to Christina McMullen, who has taught me that common sense and intelligence need not have any correlation whatsoever."
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Exlpore more Irony quotes

"I'm sucking on a cancer stick trying to think of something inspiring to say to help someone have a better life. That's "Irony"."

"Certainly it constitutes bad news when the people who agree with you are buggier than batshit."
Explore more quotes by Lois Greiman

"In 50 years it won't matter if he's handsome, ugly, or dumb as a post, just try to find someone who don't make you want to shove a pitchfork up his nose."

"There are 2 kinds of people in the world. Those who enjoy a nice salami and those who have no souls."

"Apparently it takes, like, forty-seven muscles to frown. Flippin' the bird' s a hell of a lot easier."

"A balanced diet and a brisk daily walk will help keep you healthy, but there's nothing like a good-looking young man with a nice butt to help up your cardiovascular system."

"If they really wanted us to resist temptation, they shouldn't a made it so damn tempting."

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but tequila makes it so she doesn't give a shit if she's fond of you are not."
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