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"And thanks to Christina McMullen, who has taught me that common sense and intelligence need not have any correlation whatsoever."
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"Certainly it constitutes bad news when the people who agree with you are buggier than batshit."

"I think this goes more to the idea of 'relentless irony' than 'divine providence."

"It is only because of their stupidity that they are able to be so sure of themselves."

"People who always arrive early aren't worth waiting for."

"Don't underestimate the value of irony-it is extremely valuable."
Explore more quotes by Lois Greiman

"Maybe knowledge is power, but it ain't nearly as as satisfying as punching some smart ass in the chops."

"Just when you think you have life by the tail, it's likely to whip around and take a hunk outta your balls."

"Opportunity may only knock once, but temptation'll knock down the damn door and drag you out by the hair."

"Some people are street-smart, some people are book-smart, but most people are just dumber than dirt."

"You guys gotta get a license to drive a Geo, but any doofus with a few good swimmers can be a father."
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