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Ambrose Bierce

"Apologize: To lay the foundation for a future offence."

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"Apologize: To lay the foundation for a future offence."

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Amber Hurdle

"Irony, we want our handwriting to look like typed fonts, and our computer fonts to look like handwritten text."

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Amber Hurdle

"If there were a master of stupidity in this world, I would really love to listen to his success story."

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Amber Hurdle

"With the persistent loud voice, fool asks us to respect serenity."

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Amber Hurdle

"There's stranger sex than sex with strangers."

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Amber Hurdle

"I am the most pious person in the room. Even though I have no pie - I have pizza, and what can be more virtuous than eating all by yourself?"

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Amber Hurdle

"Look innocent. Have hope. "Okay. "And remember "What? "Even O.J. Simpson was acquitted."

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Amber Hurdle

"In wars, boy, fools kill other fools for foolish causes."

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Amber Hurdle

"Sandar came to stand beside him, frowning down at the crumpled High Lord. "He does not look so mighty lying there," he said wonderingly. "He does not look so much greater than me.""

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Amber Hurdle

"The boring thing with 'No sex before marriage' is that kids will never get to attend their parents' wedding."

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Amber Hurdle

"It is the oldest ironies that are still the most satisfying: man, when preparing for bloody war, will orate loudly and most eloquently in the name of peace."

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Ambrose Bierce
"Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay."
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Ambrose Bierce
"Duty - that which sternly impels us in the direction of profit, along the line of desire."
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Ambrose Bierce
"Prejudice is a vagrant opinion without visible means of support."
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Ambrose Bierce
"Experience - the wisdom that enables us to recognise in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly that we have already embraced."
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Ambrose Bierce
"Prejudice - a vagrant opinion without visible means of support."
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Ambrose Bierce
"Painting n: the art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic."
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Ambrose Bierce
"Bigot: One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain."
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Ambrose Bierce
"An egotist is a person of low taste - more interested in himself than in me."
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Ambrose Bierce
"Admiration: Our polite recognition of another man's resemblance to ourselves."
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Ambrose Bierce
"Pray v: to ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy."
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