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"Apologize: To lay the foundation for a future offence."
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"I have forgotten all about my school days. I have a vague impression that they were detestable."
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Personal Development
"Certainly it constitutes bad news when the people who agree with you are buggier than batshit."
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Personal Development
"And what's the irony?...In the end... we call the enemy friends... the fake people again friends... should I continue here with the words?"
Author Name
Personal Development
"I think this goes more to the idea of 'relentless irony' than 'divine providence."
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Personal Development
"It is only because of their stupidity that they are able to be so sure of themselves."
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Personal Development
"I wonder if they were aware of the power of complimentary alcohol during World War I."
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Personal Development
"Look innocent. Have hope. "Okay. "And remember "What? "Even O.J. Simpson was acquitted."
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Personal Development
"Maybe knowledge is power, but it ain't nearly as as satisfying as punching some smart ass in the chops."
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Personal Development
"People who always arrive early aren't worth waiting for."
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Personal Development
"Don't underestimate the value of irony-it is extremely valuable."
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Personal Development
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"Suffrage, noun. Expression of opinion by means of a ballot. The right of suffrage (which is held to be both a privilege and a duty) means, as commonly interpreted, the right to vote for the man of another man's choice, and is highly prized."
Choice
"Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue."
Virtue
"I believe we shall come to care about people less and less. The more people one knows the easier it becomes to replace them. It's one of the curses of London."
People
"Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure."
Failure
"Edible - good to eat and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm."
Man
"Alliance - in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third."
Politics
"Backbite. To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you."
Man
"Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name."
Patriotism
"Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding."
Art
"Curiosity, n. An objectionable quality of the female mind. The desire to know whether or not a woman is cursed with curiosity is one of the most active and insatiable passions of the masculine soul."
Quality
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