Humor Quotes | Beyond Motive 5/44

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Humor Quotes

"The problem with having a sense of humor is often that people you use it on aren't in a very good mood."

"The problem with having a sense of humor is often that people you use it on aren't in a very good mood."

Lou Holtz, American Coach

Humor, People, Sense

10

"Taking crazy things seriously is a serious waste of time."

"Taking crazy things seriously is a serious waste of time."

Haruki Murakami, Japanese Writer

Humor, Seriousness, Time, Waste

9

"I've always chosen my band members based on their sense of humor. It might sound stupid, but it means not only are they fun to live with on a tour bus for years, but humor implies intelligence."

"I've always chosen my band members based on their sense of humor. It might sound stupid, but it means not only are they fun to live with on a tour bus for years, but humor implies intelligence."

Kristin Hersh, American Musician

Humor, Intelligence, Fun, Sense

9

"Oh, what lies there are in kisses."

"Oh, what lies there are in kisses."

Heinrich Heine, German Poet

Humor, Kisses, Lies

9

"Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he isn't. A sense of humor was provided to console him for what he is."

"Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he isn't. A sense of humor was provided to console him for what he is."

Horace Walpole, English Author

Humor, Imagination, Man, Sense

9

"Gags die, humor doesn't."

"Gags die, humor doesn't."

Jack Benny, American Comedian

9

"The burden of the self is lightened with I laugh at myself."

"The burden of the self is lightened with I laugh at myself."

Rabindranath Tagore, Indian Poet

Humor, Burden, Self

9

"I didn't beat her. I just pushed her out of bed."

"I didn't beat her. I just pushed her out of bed."

O. J. Simpson, American Athlete

9

"A better ending could not have been scripted. Of course, if we had won, that would have been better."

"A better ending could not have been scripted. Of course, if we had won, that would have been better."

Bobby Bowden, American Coach

9

"Speak when you are angry - and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret."

"Speak when you are angry - and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret."

Laurence J. Peter, Canadian Writer

Humor, Regret, Speech

9

"Humor is imperative, more important than food. You have a choice when someone dies. You can lie down or get back into life. Do something for someone else."

"Humor is imperative, more important than food. You have a choice when someone dies. You can lie down or get back into life. Do something for someone else."

Doris Roberts, American Actress

Humor, Food, Life, Lie

9

"I'm not for gratuitous nudity, but if there's humor, I don't have a problem."

"I'm not for gratuitous nudity, but if there's humor, I don't have a problem."

Rebecca Romijn, American Actress

9

"If one tends to be a humorous person and you have a sense of humor the rest of your life then you can certainly lighten the load, I think, by bringing that to your trials and tribulations. It's easy to have a sense of humor when everything is going well."

"If one tends to be a humorous person and you have a sense of humor the rest of your life then you can certainly lighten the load, I think, by bringing that to your trials and tribulations. It's easy to have a sense of humor when everything is going well."

Alan Thicke, Canadian Actor

Humor, Life, Rest, Sense

9

"Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you."

"Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you."

Fran Lebowitz, American Journalist

Humor, Life, Will

9

"It's odd how violence and humor so often go together, isn't it?"

"It's odd how violence and humor so often go together, isn't it?"

Dan Simmons, American Author

Humor, Violence

9

"Throughout history, great leaders have known the power of humor."

"Throughout history, great leaders have known the power of humor."

Allen Klein, American Businessman

Humor, Power, History, Leaders

9

"We want you to visit our State of Excitement often. Come again and again. But for heaven's sake, don't move here to live. Or if you do have to move in to live, don't tell any of your neighbors where you are going."

"We want you to visit our State of Excitement often. Come again and again. But for heaven's sake, don't move here to live. Or if you do have to move in to live, don't tell any of your neighbors where you are going."

Tom McCall, American Politician

Humor, Excitement, Heaven, Neighbors, State

9

"Humor is the ability to see three sides to one coin."

"Humor is the ability to see three sides to one coin."

Ned Rorem, American Composer

9

"Advertisers also know that humor can help bond us to their product."

"Advertisers also know that humor can help bond us to their product."

Allen Klein, American Businessman

9

"I'll let you in on a secret: I can't stand Jay Ward. I hate being compared to Rocky and Bullwinkle. It's just a different style of humor."

"I'll let you in on a secret: I can't stand Jay Ward. I hate being compared to Rocky and Bullwinkle. It's just a different style of humor."

John Kricfalusi, Canadian Artist

Humor, Being, Hate, Style

9

"Bad humor is an evasion of reality; good humor is an acceptance of it."

"Bad humor is an evasion of reality; good humor is an acceptance of it."

Malcolm Muggeridge, British Journalist

Humor, Acceptance, Reality

9

"A farce, or slapstick humor, does well universally."

"A farce, or slapstick humor, does well universally."

John Ratzenberger, American Actor

9

"A politician is a statesman who approaches every question with an open mouth."

"A politician is a statesman who approaches every question with an open mouth."

Adlai E. Stevenson, American Politician

Humor, Open, Question

9

"Good taste and humor are a contradiction in terms, like a chaste whore."

"Good taste and humor are a contradiction in terms, like a chaste whore."

Malcolm Muggeridge, British Journalist

Humor, Contradiction, Taste

9

"I've got a great sense of humor."

"I've got a great sense of humor."

Anthony Hopkins, Welsh Actor

9

"Deep breaths are very helpful at shallow parties."

"Deep breaths are very helpful at shallow parties."

Barbara Walters, American Journalist

9

"Swollen in head, weak in legs, sharp in tongue but empty in belly."

"Swollen in head, weak in legs, sharp in tongue but empty in belly."

Mao Tse Tung, Chinese Leader

9

"There are two insults no human being will endure: that he has no sense of humor, and that he has never known trouble."

"There are two insults no human being will endure: that he has no sense of humor, and that he has never known trouble."

Sinclair Lewis, American Novelist

Humor, Being, Insults, Sense

9

"Never say a humorous thing to a man who does not possess humor. He will always use it in evidence against you."

"Never say a humorous thing to a man who does not possess humor. He will always use it in evidence against you."

Herbert Beerbohm Tree, British Actor

Humor, Man, Will

9

"Night is certainly more novel and less profane than day."

"Night is certainly more novel and less profane than day."

Henry David Thoreau, American Author

Humor, Day, Night

9

"I've often said there's nothing better for the inside of a man than the outside of a horse."

"I've often said there's nothing better for the inside of a man than the outside of a horse."

Ronald Reagan, American President

Humor, Man, Nothing

9

"Polite conversation is rarely either."

"Polite conversation is rarely either."

Fran Lebowitz, American Journalist

Humor, Conversation

9

"Sentimental irony is a dog that bays at the moon while pissing on graves."

"Sentimental irony is a dog that bays at the moon while pissing on graves."

Karl Kraus, Austrian Writer

Humor, Irony, Moon

9

"Poor David Hume is dying fast, but with more real cheerfulness and good humor and with more real resignation to the necessary course of things, than any whining Christian ever dyed with pretended resignation to the will of God."

"Poor David Hume is dying fast, but with more real cheerfulness and good humor and with more real resignation to the necessary course of things, than any whining Christian ever dyed with pretended resignation to the will of God."

Adam Smith, Scottish Economist

Humor, God, Christian, Cheerfulness

9

"Humor has justly been regarded as the finest perfection of poetic genius."

"Humor has justly been regarded as the finest perfection of poetic genius."

Thomas Carlyle, Scottish Philosopher

Humor, Genius, Perfection

9

"God is really only another artist. He invented the giraffe, the elephantand the cat. He has no real style, He just goes on trying other things."

"God is really only another artist. He invented the giraffe, the elephantand the cat. He has no real style, He just goes on trying other things."

Pablo Picasso, Spanish Artist

Humor, God, Style, Trying

9

"And it really pisses Peter and Micky off when I get onto one of those tangents where I start to do humor."

"And it really pisses Peter and Micky off when I get onto one of those tangents where I start to do humor."

Davy Jones, English Musician

9

"I like the sound of that, crashing Monica's party," he glanced at Michael, then quickly away. "What about you? That break some kind of vampire rules or something?""Blow me Shane.""Boys," Eve said primly. "Language. Minor at the table.""Well," Shane said, "I wasn't actually planning to do it."Claire rolled her eyes. "Not like it's the first time I've heard it. Or said it.""You shouldnt say it," Michael said, all seriousness. "No, I mean it. Girls should say 'eat me' not 'blow me'. Wouldn't recommend 'bite me' though. Not around here."

"I like the sound of that, crashing Monica's party," he glanced at Michael, then quickly away. "What about you? That break some kind of vampire rules or something?""Blow me Shane.""Boys," Eve said primly. "Language. Minor at the table.""Well," Shane said, "I wasn't actually planning to do it."Claire rolled her eyes. "Not like it's the first time I've heard it. Or said it.""You shouldnt say it," Michael said, all seriousness. "No, I mean it. Girls should say 'eat me' not 'blow me'. Wouldn't recommend 'bite me' though. Not around here."

Rachel Caine, Canadian Actress

Humor, Dialogue, Youth, Language

9

"Ever since I was a kid, I just loved those comedians on TV who would just have fun with the language."

"Ever since I was a kid, I just loved those comedians on TV who would just have fun with the language."

Alan Rudolph, American Director

Humor, Comedians, Fun, Language

9

"Bishop was all done with the witty converstaion. 'Will you swear?'And Myrnin said, shockingly, 'I will.' And he proceeded to, a string of swearwords that made Claire blink. He ended with, '-frothy fool-born apple-john! Cheater of vandals and defiler of dead dogs!' and did another twirl and bow. He looked up with a red, red grin that was more like a leer. 'Is that what you meant, my lord?"

"Bishop was all done with the witty converstaion. 'Will you swear?'And Myrnin said, shockingly, 'I will.' And he proceeded to, a string of swearwords that made Claire blink. He ended with, '-frothy fool-born apple-john! Cheater of vandals and defiler of dead dogs!' and did another twirl and bow. He looked up with a red, red grin that was more like a leer. 'Is that what you meant, my lord?"

Rachel Caine, Canadian Actress

Humor, Swearing, Conversation, Character

9

"This cures everything except stupidity, which is an epidemic on the rise."

"This cures everything except stupidity, which is an epidemic on the rise."

Carlos Ruiz Zafon, Spanish Novelist

Humor, Health, Stupidity, Awareness

9

"It's an odd thing, but anyone who disappears is said to be seen in San Francisco.It must be a delightful city and possess all the attractions of the next world."

"It's an odd thing, but anyone who disappears is said to be seen in San Francisco.It must be a delightful city and possess all the attractions of the next world."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Humor, Disappearance, City, Attraction

9

"Irony takes nothing away from pathos."

"Irony takes nothing away from pathos."

Gustave Flaubert, French Novelist

Humor, Irony, Emotion, Insight, Awareness

9

"I'm so glad you're okay.""So, how do we celebrate my okayness? It's my day off. Let's go crazy. Glow-in-the-dark bowling?""No""I'll let you use the kiddie ball.""Shut up. I do NOT need the kiddie ball.""The way you bowl, I think you might."He grabbed her in an exaggerated formal dance pose and whirled her around, backpack and all, which didn't make her any more graceful. "Ballroom dancing?""Are you INSANE?""Hey, girls who tango are hot.""You think I'm not hot because I don't tango?"He dropped the act. Shane was a smart boy. "I think you are too hot for ballroom or bowling. So you tell me. What do you want to do? And don't say study."

"I'm so glad you're okay.""So, how do we celebrate my okayness? It's my day off. Let's go crazy. Glow-in-the-dark bowling?""No""I'll let you use the kiddie ball.""Shut up. I do NOT need the kiddie ball.""The way you bowl, I think you might."He grabbed her in an exaggerated formal dance pose and whirled her around, backpack and all, which didn't make her any more graceful. "Ballroom dancing?""Are you INSANE?""Hey, girls who tango are hot.""You think I'm not hot because I don't tango?"He dropped the act. Shane was a smart boy. "I think you are too hot for ballroom or bowling. So you tell me. What do you want to do? And don't say study."

Rachel Caine, Canadian Actress

Humor, Love, Romance, Fun

9

"I know supposedly God has anger, vengeance, and wrath, and if he doesn't have a sense of humor I'm in big trouble!"

"I know supposedly God has anger, vengeance, and wrath, and if he doesn't have a sense of humor I'm in big trouble!"

Stanley Victor Paskavich, American Politician

Humor, God, Anger, Wrath

9

"Oh... Adrian, I've got one more favor to ask you. A big one." "Fondue?" he asked hopefully."

"Oh... Adrian, I've got one more favor to ask you. A big one." "Fondue?" he asked hopefully."

Richelle Mead, American Author

Humor, Request, Friendship, Relationship

9

"There is nothing harder to explain than humor."

"There is nothing harder to explain than humor."

Milan Kundera, Czechoslovakian Writer

Humor, Explanation, Life, Truth

9

"What did Finnick Odair want? he asks.I turn and put my lips close to Peeta's and drop my eyelids in imitation of Finnick. "He offered me sugar and wanted to know all my secrets, I say in my best seductive voice.Peeta laughs. "Ugh. Not really."Really, I say. "I'll tell you more when my skin stops crawling."

"What did Finnick Odair want? he asks.I turn and put my lips close to Peeta's and drop my eyelids in imitation of Finnick. "He offered me sugar and wanted to know all my secrets, I say in my best seductive voice.Peeta laughs. "Ugh. Not really."Really, I say. "I'll tell you more when my skin stops crawling."

Suzanne Collins, American Novelist

Humor, Secrets, Trust, Romance

9

"I admit I'm bipolar but if you think I'm stupid you're crazy."

"I admit I'm bipolar but if you think I'm stupid you're crazy."

Stanley Victor Paskavich, American Politician

Humor, Mental Health, Judgment, Self

9

"Oh hell no. Guys don't talk about that crap."You're serious."Really."What do you talk about?Shane looked at her as if she were insane. "You know. Stuff. We're not girls. We don't talk about our feelings. I mean, not to other guys.Claire rolled her eyes and said, "Fine, be emotionally stunted losers; I don't care."

"Oh hell no. Guys don't talk about that crap."You're serious."Really."What do you talk about?Shane looked at her as if she were insane. "You know. Stuff. We're not girls. We don't talk about our feelings. I mean, not to other guys.Claire rolled her eyes and said, "Fine, be emotionally stunted losers; I don't care."

Rachel Caine, Canadian Actress

Humor, Emotion, Communication, Men

9

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