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"Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he isn't. A sense of humor was provided to console him for what he is."
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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
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Personal Development
"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
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"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."
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Personal Development
"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
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Personal Development
"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
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Personal Development
"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."
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Personal Development
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
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"Comedy strikes here... just to reduce pressure and depression."
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"They're both bungholes who think they're too noble to shit."
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Personal Development
"She breathed an enormous sigh, looked at Poirot, Looked away, and suddenly blurted out, "You're too old. Nobody told me you were so old. I really don't want to be rude but - there it is. You're too old. I'm really sorry." She turned abruptly and blundered out of the room, rather like a desperate moth in lamplight. Poirot, his mouth open, heard the bang of the front door. He ejaculated: "Non d'un nom d'un nom..."
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"We often repent of our first thoughts, and scarce ever of our second."
Thought
"This world is a comedy to those that think, a tragedy to those that feel."
Comedy
"I do not admire politicians; but when they are excellent in their way, one cannot help allowing them their due."
Help
"Virtue knows to a farthing what it has lost by not having been vice."
Virtue
"Poetry is a beautiful way of spoiling prose, and the laborious art of exchanging plain sense for harmony."
Art
"The whole secret of life is to be interested in one thing profoundly and in a thousand things well."
Life
"Oh that I were seated as high as my ambition, I'd place my naked foot on the necks of monarchs."
Ambition
"Men are sent into the world with bills of credit, and seldom draw to their full extent."
Man
"The world is a comedy to those that think, a tragedy to those who feel."
Comedy
"The Methodists love your big sinners, as proper subjects to work upon."
Love
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