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"Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he isn't. A sense of humor was provided to console him for what he is."
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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
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"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
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"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."
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Personal Development
"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
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"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
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Personal Development
"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."
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Personal Development
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
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Personal Development
"She breathed an enormous sigh, looked at Poirot, Looked away, and suddenly blurted out, "You're too old. Nobody told me you were so old. I really don't want to be rude but - there it is. You're too old. I'm really sorry." She turned abruptly and blundered out of the room, rather like a desperate moth in lamplight. Poirot, his mouth open, heard the bang of the front door. He ejaculated: "Non d'un nom d'un nom..."
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"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."
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Personal Development
"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"
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"Nine-tenths of the people were created so you would want to be with the other tenth."
People
"Virtue knows to a farthing what it has lost by not having been vice."
Virtue
"The whole secret of life is to be interested in one thing profoundly and in a thousand things well."
Life
"Men are sent into the world with bills of credit, and seldom draw to their full extent."
Man
"Justice is rather the activity of truth, than a virtue in itself. Truth tells us what is due to others, and justice renders that due. Injustice is acting a lie."
Truth
"Men are often capable of greater things than they perform - They are sent into the world with bills of credit, and seldom draw to their full extent."
Man
"The world is a comedy to those that think, a tragedy to those who feel."
Comedy
"The Methodists love your big sinners, as proper subjects to work upon."
Love
"Poetry is a beautiful way of spoiling prose, and the laborious art of exchanging plain sense for harmony."
Art
"This world is a comedy to those that think, a tragedy to those that feel."
Comedy
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