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"A politician is a statesman who approaches every question with an open mouth."
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"The real satire starts when I'm shockingly mocked,not mockingly shocked."
"CHARTERIS [unfolding his arms in terror] No, please. Dont. As a philosopher, it's my business to tell other people the truth; but it's not their business to tell it to me. I dont like it: it hurts."
"How was I supposed to know 'lucked out' means 'I got screwed over' in Australian?"
"I believe the phrase you're looking for is 'too much money and not enough things to spend it on."
"Where did you find that one?''I have no idea. I'm a magnet for crazies, I guess.''They must be able to sense a kindred spirit.''Your one to talk. Don't you have more hordes of the undead to lead in a glorious revolution?''Zombies not undead. There's a fine distinction. And no. Right now I'm scouting new talent. The glorious revolution comes tomorrow."
"I realized women and humor were linked very closely."
"A good joke doesn't necessarily need appreciation from others. One can freely laugh at one's own deserving jokes."
Explore more quotes by Adlai E. Stevenson
"I will make a bargain with the Republicans. If they will stop telling lies about Democrats, we will stop telling the truth about them."
"Freedom is not an ideal, it is not even a protection, if it means nothing more than freedom to stagnate, to live without dreams, to have no greater aim than a second car and another television set."
"With the supermarket as our temple and the singing commercial as our litany, are we likely to fire the world with an irresistible vision of America's exalted purpose and inspiring way of life?"
"Freedom is not an ideal, it is not even a protection, if it means nothing more than the freedom to stagnate."
"Communism is the death of the soul. It is the organization of total conformity - in short, of tyranny - and it is committed to making tyranny universal."
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