"The problem with having a sense of humor is often that people you use it on aren't in a very good mood."

Humor, People, Sense

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"The problem with having a sense of humor is often that people you use it on aren't in a very good mood."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"If it weren't for the last minute nothing would get done."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Procrastination, Delay, Action

"And if I talk to him, I'll say something wrong, give something away. I can feel it coming, a betrayal of myself."

Margaret Atwood, Canadian Novelist

Humor, Escape, Solitude, Space, Privacy

"God alert!" Blackjack yelled. "It's the wine dude!Mr. D sighed in exasperation. "The next person, or horse, who calls me the 'wine dude' will end up in a bottle of Merlot!"

Rick Riordan, American Novelist

Humor, Truth, Wisdom, Power

"I always try to cheer myself up by singing when i get sad. Most of the time, it turns out that my voice is worse than my problems."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Singing, Sadness, Voice

"When you love someone, you don't care that she ate your sandwich. You only hope she found it delicious."

Richelle E. Goodrich, American Poet

Humor, Love, Happiness, Today, Truth

"Looking for a wife is like fishing; before you go, make sure you don't have a hole in your net."

Matshona Dhliwayo, Zimbabwean Philosopher

Humor, Marriage, Fishing, Perspective

"I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly."

Winston Churchill, English Statesman

Humor, May, Ugly, Will

"Using a metaphor in front of a man as unimaginative as Ridcully was like ared flag to a bu... was like putting something very annoying in front ofsomeone who was annoyed by it."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Humor, Happiness, Today, Wisdom

"Some kleptomaniacs do not steal things only; they also, while some only, steal lovers."

Mokokoma Mokhonoana, South African Philosopher

Humor, Truth, Life, Power, Wisdom

"Eagles may soar but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Safety, Cleverness, Animals

Explore more quotes by Lou Holtz

"In the successful organization, no detail is too small to escape close attention."

Success

"Life is ten percent what happens to you and ninety percent how you respond to it."

Life

"If you burn your neighbors house down, it doesn't make your house look any better."

Hypocrisy

"Motivation is simple. You eliminate those who are not motivated."

Motivational

"I can't believe that God put us on this earth to be ordinary."

God

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Exlpore more Humor quotes

"If it weren't for the last minute nothing would get done."

"And if I talk to him, I'll say something wrong, give something away. I can feel it coming, a betrayal of myself."

"God alert!" Blackjack yelled. "It's the wine dude!Mr. D sighed in exasperation. "The next person, or horse, who calls me the 'wine dude' will end up in a bottle of Merlot!"

"I always try to cheer myself up by singing when i get sad. Most of the time, it turns out that my voice is worse than my problems."

"When you love someone, you don't care that she ate your sandwich. You only hope she found it delicious."

"Looking for a wife is like fishing; before you go, make sure you don't have a hole in your net."

"I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly."

"Using a metaphor in front of a man as unimaginative as Ridcully was like ared flag to a bu... was like putting something very annoying in front ofsomeone who was annoyed by it."

"Some kleptomaniacs do not steal things only; they also, while some only, steal lovers."

"Eagles may soar but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."

Explore more quotes by Lou Holtz

"Do right. Do your best. Treat others as you want to be treated."

"Coaching is nothing more than eliminating mistakes before you get fired."

"If what you did yesterday seems big, you haven't done anything today."

"A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song."

"If you try to fight the course, it will beat you."

"In the successful organization, no detail is too small to escape close attention."

"Life is ten percent what happens to you and ninety percent how you respond to it."

"If you burn your neighbors house down, it doesn't make your house look any better."

"Motivation is simple. You eliminate those who are not motivated."

"I can't believe that God put us on this earth to be ordinary."