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Lou Holtz

"The problem with having a sense of humor is often that people you use it on aren't in a very good mood."

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"The problem with having a sense of humor is often that people you use it on aren't in a very good mood."

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Donna Grant

"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"

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Donna Grant

"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."

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Donna Grant

"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."

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Donna Grant

"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"

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Donna Grant

"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."

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Donna Grant

"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."

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Donna Grant

"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."

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Donna Grant

"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."

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Donna Grant

"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"

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Donna Grant

"I went to the kitchen and felt-up the turkey."

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Lou Holtz
"Don't be a spectator, don't let life pass you by."
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Lou Holtz
"If what you did yesterday seems big, you haven't done anything today."
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Lou Holtz
"How you respond to the challenge in the second half will determine what you become after the game, whether you are a winner or a loser."
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Lou Holtz
"A lifetime contract for a coach means if you're ahead in the third quarter and moving the ball, they can't fire you."
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Lou Holtz
"If you burn your neighbors house down, it doesn't make your house look any better."
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Lou Holtz
"If you're bored with life - you don't get up every morning with a burning desire to do things - you don't have enough goals."
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Lou Holtz
"Show me someone who has done something worthwhile, and I'll show you someone who has overcome adversity."
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Lou Holtz
"The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely the one who dropped it."
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Lou Holtz
"If you try to fight the course, it will beat you."
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Lou Holtz
"I never learn anything talking. I only learn things when I ask questions."
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