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"I admit I'm bipolar but if you think I'm stupid you're crazy."
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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
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Personal Development
"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
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Personal Development
"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."
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Personal Development
"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
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Personal Development
"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
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Personal Development
"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."
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Personal Development
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
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Personal Development
"She breathed an enormous sigh, looked at Poirot, Looked away, and suddenly blurted out, "You're too old. Nobody told me you were so old. I really don't want to be rude but - there it is. You're too old. I'm really sorry." She turned abruptly and blundered out of the room, rather like a desperate moth in lamplight. Poirot, his mouth open, heard the bang of the front door. He ejaculated: "Non d'un nom d'un nom..."
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Personal Development
"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."
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Personal Development
"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"
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"Unfortunately when I'm on my death bed I believe I'll be like most people and still looking for Jesus. And yes I've checked my sock drawer."
Faith
"Every day in life we're told who this is and who that is. But when we sit we're all the same when we remove our hat."
Equality
"I have a book of poetry I believe many should read but in each verse you'll discover it wasn't written for greed."
Literature
"People that say "I can't should try saying "I choose not to."
Empowerment
"You'll never see my books on Vanity Fair I'm not the type of author they would want there."
Writing
"Turn thy crown upside down! You need to feel how it is to kneel as those less fortunate than your noble deal."
Humility
"I've been playing the game of life for over 52 years now and I don't feel one day younger or older than I am. Maybe its I just don't feel."
Aging
"Total Enlightenment is 'Vision without Purpose'."
Philosophy
"There are poets,there are philosophers, there are spiritualists and me. I try to foot the bill of these mighty three."
Expression
"We live in a world where you can be put to death for your belief and shows how humanity judges in a dreadful motif."
Justice
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