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"I know supposedly God has anger, vengeance, and wrath, and if he doesn't have a sense of humor I'm in big trouble!"
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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
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"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
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"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."
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Personal Development
"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
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"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
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Personal Development
"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."
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Personal Development
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
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Personal Development
"She breathed an enormous sigh, looked at Poirot, Looked away, and suddenly blurted out, "You're too old. Nobody told me you were so old. I really don't want to be rude but - there it is. You're too old. I'm really sorry." She turned abruptly and blundered out of the room, rather like a desperate moth in lamplight. Poirot, his mouth open, heard the bang of the front door. He ejaculated: "Non d'un nom d'un nom..."
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Personal Development
"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."
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Personal Development
"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"
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"I love belief it can move the pallet on a Ouija board or put a man into space. The problem that we have is the wrong beliefs we can't erase."
Belief
"Believe what you believe and it will be, believe what others believe and they will consume you!"
Belief
"I've always wondered how much can you do for your fellow man if your hands are constantly stuck together in Prayers for them?"
Service
"Poetry is more than a form of art. It's a vibration and a pulsing heart. Whether it's sour or whether it's sweet. It can give you strength no one can defeat."
Poetry
"Don't live by my words, don't die by them, chew them slowly digest them, and smile if they give nourishment to your soul."
Wisdom
"Unfortunately when I'm on my death bed I believe I'll be like most people and still looking for Jesus. And yes I've checked my sock drawer."
Faith
"Every day in life we're told who this is and who that is. But when we sit we're all the same when we remove our hat."
Equality
"I have a book of poetry I believe many should read but in each verse you'll discover it wasn't written for greed."
Literature
"People that say "I can't should try saying "I choose not to."
Empowerment
"You'll never see my books on Vanity Fair I'm not the type of author they would want there."
Writing
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