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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
Author Name
Personal Development
"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
Author Name
Personal Development
"She breathed an enormous sigh, looked at Poirot, Looked away, and suddenly blurted out, "You're too old. Nobody told me you were so old. I really don't want to be rude but - there it is. You're too old. I'm really sorry." She turned abruptly and blundered out of the room, rather like a desperate moth in lamplight. Poirot, his mouth open, heard the bang of the front door. He ejaculated: "Non d'un nom d'un nom..."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"
Author Name
Personal Development
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"Going to church doesn't make you any more a Christian than going to the garage makes you a car."
Car
"Democracy is a process by which people are free to choose the man who will get the blame."
People
"Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away."
Nature
"Nobody can be perfect unless he admits his faults, but if he has faults how can he be perfect?"
Mistake
"A man doesn't know what he knows until he knows what he doesn't know."
Man
"A censor is an expert in cutting remarks. A censor is a man who knows more than he thinks you ought to."
Man
"Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their level of incompetence."
Work
"Speak when you are angry - and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret."
Humor
"The great question is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with failure."
Failure
"America is a land of taxation that was founded to avoid taxation."
Tax
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