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Herbert Beerbohm Tree

"Never say a humorous thing to a man who does not possess humor. He will always use it in evidence against you."

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"Never say a humorous thing to a man who does not possess humor. He will always use it in evidence against you."

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A.E. Samaan

"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"

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A.E. Samaan

"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."

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A.E. Samaan

"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."

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A.E. Samaan

"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"

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A.E. Samaan

"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."

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A.E. Samaan

"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."

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A.E. Samaan

"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."

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A.E. Samaan

"Comedy strikes here... just to reduce pressure and depression."

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A.E. Samaan

"They're both bungholes who think they're too noble to shit."

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A.E. Samaan

"She breathed an enormous sigh, looked at Poirot, Looked away, and suddenly blurted out, "You're too old. Nobody told me you were so old. I really don't want to be rude but - there it is. You're too old. I'm really sorry." She turned abruptly and blundered out of the room, rather like a desperate moth in lamplight. Poirot, his mouth open, heard the bang of the front door. He ejaculated: "Non d'un nom d'un nom..."

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Herbert Beerbohm Tree
"Ladies, just a little more virginity, if you don't mind."
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"A committee should consist of three men, two of whom are absent."
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Herbert Beerbohm Tree
"People are too apt to treat God as if he were a minor royalty."
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Herbert Beerbohm Tree
"Every man is a potential genius until he does something."
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Herbert Beerbohm Tree
"He is an old bore. Even the grave yawns for him."
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Herbert Beerbohm Tree
"Never say a humorous thing to a man who does not possess humor. He will always use it in evidence against you."
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Herbert Beerbohm Tree
"Cynicism is the humour of hatred."
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Herbert Beerbohm Tree
"I was born old and get younger every day. At present I am sixty years young."
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