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All Quotes Collection
"There's something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she's only measured water in it."
22
"No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake the bed after their children do it because there is wrinkle in the spread or the blanket is on crooked. This is sick."
49
"Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's too controversial."
34
"Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking with me when I go."
32
"One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is."
62
"Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time."
46
"Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people's children and publicly admit they can do better are asking for it."
53
"Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago."
60
"Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence."
100
"The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again."
58
"There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt."
39
"There is nothing more miserable in the world than to arrive in paradise and look like your passport photo."
48
"Never order food in excess of your body weight."
48
"Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?"
49
"Housework, if you do it right, will kill you."
65
"A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat."
15
"A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend - and he's a priest."
13
"All of us have moments in out lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them."
59
"Before you try to keep up with the Joneses, be sure they're not trying to keep up with you."
40
"Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you."
48
"I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent."
52
"Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other."
11
"Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely."
53
"For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it's time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward."
24
"Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until the computer says you're out of it."
44
"House guests should be regarded as perishables: Leave them out too long and they go bad."
49
"Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments."
Car,
16
"Advances in technology will continue to reach far into every sector of our economy. Future job and economic growth in industry, defense, transportation, agriculture, health care, and life sciences is directly related to scientific advancement."
36
"Change is tough, people don't like it, but it is necessary. Take two aspirins and call me in the morning."
37
"History's lesson is to make the most of reform opportunities when they arise because they do not arise often and they do not last long."
53
"It is time that we take control and find a way to curtail the explosive costs of health care. Small businesses deserve a chance to channel these funds toward other needs, such as expanding and creating more jobs for the economy."
41
"Misdirected focus on paperwork, on procedures, and on bureaucracy frustrates teachers and fails to give children the education they need."
46
"More time on paperwork means less time spent with students or preparing lessons for students. It is as simple as that. The numerous reforms in the bill will go a long way to free our time of special educators."
46
"Yes, beef is what was for dinner last night. Tonight it will be my dinner, and it will continue to be."
60
"I now teach at American University and the University of Virginia."
38
"I've appeared on a weekly syndicated television show since 1980."
35
"I tell young people to prepare themselves as best they can for a world that grows more challenging every day-get the best education they can, and couple that education with real-life experience in social justice work."
32
"I do think that some of us began to realize that this was going to be a long struggle that was going to go on for decades, and you'd have to knuckle down. A lot of people in our generation did that. They didn't drop out and run away."
36
"Griffin Bell later apologized to me for that decision."
74
"Ever since I've become chairman, there have been profiles of me in People, George, The Washington Post, The Detroit News, and all of them could have been written by the same person."
33
"But even at the height of these scandals, even at the time when our finances were at their worst, the NAACP branches - the grassroots - kept plugging away. They kept doing what they do, and they do it well."
Time,
36
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