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Erma Bombeck

"Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence."

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"Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence."

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Donna Grant

"Cultural values change with times, unless they are built on an absolute standard of values and virtues. This standard must be afterwards well-guarded and protected."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"Every generation is inculcated in traditions of prejudice which are encouraged as normal, natural and healthy."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"She has very strong ideas about family - ideas that probably sound kind of sexist to you. She believes all dhampirs should train and put in time as guardians, but that the women should eventually return home to raise their children together.But not the men?No, he said wryly. She thinks men still need to stay out there and kill Strigoi."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"To the traditional Indians, terms such as "intercourse, "penis, "vagina, "clitoris, "semen, "masturbation, "breasts, etc. are exclusive possessions of the night. The traditional Indians perceive these terms as something "dirty. No matter how old they look, they really never grow up to talk and discuss about sex."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"I am sure I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round -- apart from the veneration due to its sacred name and origin, if anything belonging to it can be apart from that -- as a good time: a kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time: the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow-passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"We men had a meeting a long time ago, and we all decided, 'It's trousers'. And that's what we've worn ever since."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"Your insult has offended me. If we were at the Peaks, we would have to duel in traditional alil'tiki'i fashion.""Which is what?" Teft asked. "With spears?"Rock laughed. "No, no. We upon the Peaks are not barbarians like you down here.""How then?" Kaladin asked, genuinely curious."Well," Rock said, "is involving much mudbeer and singing.""How's that a duel?"He who can still sing after the most drinks is winner. Plus, soon' everyone is so drunk that they forget what argument was about."Teft laughed. "Beats knives at dawn, I suppose."

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Donna Grant

"In either case, there was very much the same solemnity of demeanour on the part of the spectators, as befitted a people among whom religion and law were almost identical, and in whose character both were so thoroughly interfused, that the mildest and severest acts of public discipline were alike made venerable and awful."

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Donna Grant

"Gossiping's part of witchcraft,' said Tiffany. 'They're checking to see if they've gone batty yet."

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Donna Grant

"So when modern-day religious conservatives wax nostalgic about how marriage is a sacred tradition that reaches back into history for thousands of uninterrupted years, they are absolutely correct, but in only one respect-only if they happen to be talking about Judaism."

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Erma Bombeck
"Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other."

Success

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Erma Bombeck
"A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend - and he's a priest."

Friendship

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Erma Bombeck
"A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat."

Friendship

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Erma Bombeck
"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'."

God

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Erma Bombeck
"I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair."

Old

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Erma Bombeck
"How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?"

Will

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Erma Bombeck
"My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car."

Car

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Erma Bombeck
"Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth."

Car

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Erma Bombeck
"Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments."

Car

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Erma Bombeck
"Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated."

School

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