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Erma Bombeck

"Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence."

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"Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence."

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Amber Hurdle

"Cultural values change with times, unless they are built on an absolute standard of values and virtues. This standard must be afterwards well-guarded and protected."

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"It is all about the trade of ignorance. And India is such a bronze-age nation that is filled with these trades (astrology, palm reading, vastushashtra and others)."

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"We men had a meeting a long time ago, and we all decided, 'It's trousers'. And that's what we've worn ever since."

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Amber Hurdle

"Every generation is inculcated in traditions of prejudice which are encouraged as normal, natural and healthy."

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Amber Hurdle

"Gossiping's part of witchcraft,' said Tiffany. 'They're checking to see if they've gone batty yet."

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"Rare and precious gifts,gold and myrrh and frankincense,to offer a king."

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"I am sure I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round -- apart from the veneration due to its sacred name and origin, if anything belonging to it can be apart from that -- as a good time: a kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time: the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow-passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys."

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Amber Hurdle

"She's a Texan, born and raised. Football is in our blood."

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Amber Hurdle

"There's always time for arguin' when you're a Fuentes."

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Amber Hurdle

"My father used to say that stories are part of the most precious heritage of mankind."

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Erma Bombeck
"There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt."

Humor

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Erma Bombeck
"When humor goes, there goes civilization."

Humor

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Erma Bombeck
"Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time."

Car

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Erma Bombeck
"Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's too controversial."

Family

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Erma Bombeck
"Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking with me when I go."

Woman

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Erma Bombeck
"Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown."

Woman

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Erma Bombeck
"It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding."

Family

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Erma Bombeck
"I was terrible at straight items. When I wrote obituaries, my mother said the only thing I ever got them to do was die in alphabetical order."

Family

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Erma Bombeck
"Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving."

Emotional

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Erma Bombeck
"Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you."

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