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"No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake the bed after their children do it because there is wrinkle in the spread or the blanket is on crooked. This is sick."
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"Bored with the upsetting realities of the day? Then leave yourself to the calming mysteries of the night!"
"Geoff's arm emanated with a solid warmth I longed for after our days aboard S.S. British - Craphole."
"Move out of your comfort zone. You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new."
"Any nation that thinks more of its ease and comfort than its freedom will soon lose its freedom; and the ironical thing about it is that it will lose its ease and comfort too."
"I willed myself to stay awake, but the rain was so soft and the room was so warm and his voice was so deep and his knee was so snug that I slept."
Explore more quotes by Erma Bombeck
"For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it's time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward."
"My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?"
"Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking with me when I go."
"I was terrible at straight items. When I wrote obituaries, my mother said the only thing I ever got them to do was die in alphabetical order."
"Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated."
"Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until the computer says you're out of it."
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