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Erma Bombeck

"No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake the bed after their children do it because there is wrinkle in the spread or the blanket is on crooked. This is sick."

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"No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake the bed after their children do it because there is wrinkle in the spread or the blanket is on crooked. This is sick."

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Asa Don Brown

"If you've ever been homesick, or felt exiled from all the things and people that once defined you, you'll know how important welcoming words and friendly smiles can be."

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"May you find solace & be comforted by love's inner warmth, and glow."

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"He wanted to stay there forever, letting her soothe him, pretending he was just a kid and his mom could make everything okay."

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"In time the whole family perked up like Sesame Street puppets, hoping that cheer, if worked at hard enough, could sugar the living and quiet the dead."

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"A nice warm shower, a cup of tea, and a caring ear may be all you need to warm your heart."

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"It is Sunday afternoon, preferably before the war. The wife is already asleep in the armchair, and the children have been sent out for a nice long walk. You put your feet up on the sofa, settle your spectacles on your nose, and open the News of the World. Roast beef and Yorkshire, or roast pork and apple sauce, followed up by suet pudding and driven home, as it were, by a cup of mahogany-brown tea, have put you in just the right mood. Your pipe is drawing sweetly, the sofa cushions are soft underneath you, the fire is well alight, the air is warm and stagnant. In these blissful circumstances, what is it that you want to read about? Naturally, about a murder."

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Asa Don Brown

"You're my love, you're my lighthouse; and the sea is rough in the dark days."

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"When we get too comfortable, we stop dreaming."

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Asa Don Brown

"When we are sad...it can be comforting to cling to familiar objects, to things that don't change."

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Asa Don Brown

"Give mea pillow of strongever-dependable shouldersthat i can bury my head in."

Explore more quotes by Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
"A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend - and he's a priest."
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Erma Bombeck
"My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?"
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Erma Bombeck
"How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?"
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Erma Bombeck
"I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair."
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Erma Bombeck
"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'."
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Erma Bombeck
"For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it's time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward."
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Erma Bombeck
"A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat."
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Erma Bombeck
"In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet."
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Erma Bombeck
"Children make your life important."
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Erma Bombeck
"Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other."
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