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"Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?"
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"The bowl is warmer than the soup."

"No writer has an imaginative power richer than what the streets offer."

"Good God. Men everywhere."

"As far as she could see, children mostly argued, shouted, ran around very fast, laughed loudly, picked their noses, got dirty and sulked."

"He reads much;He is a great observer and he looksQuite through the deeds of men: he loves no plays,As thou dost, Antony; he hears no music;Seldom he smiles, and smiles in such a sortAs if he mock'd himself and scorn'd his spiritThat could be moved to smile at any thing.Such men as he be never at heart's easeWhiles they behold a greater than themselves,And therefore are they very dangerous."

"Society in its boundless ignorance ridicules the caterpillar but praises the butterfly."

"Dickens writes that one of his characters, "listened to everything without seeming to, which showed he understood his business."

"I frequently observe that one pretty face would be followed by five and thirty frights."

"Their faces were as a rule good-natured rather than beautiful."
Explore more quotes by Erma Bombeck


"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'."


"My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car."


"Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated."
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