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Erma Bombeck

"For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it's time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward."

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"For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it's time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward."

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Amber Hurdle

"Always keep in mind how you can best use this time that you call life."

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Amber Hurdle

"I'm proud of being part Cherokee, and I think it's time all us Indians felt the same way."

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Amber Hurdle

"Time is an illusion of life the life of the past and the future clouds men from the true life of the present."

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Amber Hurdle

"Words, words, words! They shut one off from the universe. Three quarters of the time one's never in contact with things, only with the beastly words that stand for them."

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Amber Hurdle

"Dickens is a very underrated writer at the moment. Everyone in his time admired him but I think right now he's not spoken of enough."

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Amber Hurdle

"Do not waste your time on Social Questions. What is the matter with the poor is Poverty; what is the matter with the rich is Uselessness."

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Amber Hurdle

"Eight years involved with the nuclear industry have taught me that when nothing can possible go wrong and every avenue has been covered, then is the time to buy a house on the next continent."

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Amber Hurdle

"Praise is the mode of love which always has some element of joy in it."

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Amber Hurdle

"You can do and use the skills that you have. The schools need you. The teachers need you. Students and parents need you. They need your actual person: your physical personhood and your open minds and open ears and boundless compassion, sitting next to them, listening and nodding and asking questions for hours at a time."

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Amber Hurdle

"Doing is the great thing, for if people resolutely do what is right, they come in time to like doing it."

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Erma Bombeck
"Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other."
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"My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?"
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Erma Bombeck
"Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth."
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"Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time."
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Erma Bombeck
"I was terrible at straight items. When I wrote obituaries, my mother said the only thing I ever got them to do was die in alphabetical order."
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Erma Bombeck
"Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments."
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Erma Bombeck
"Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until the computer says you're out of it."
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Erma Bombeck
"Housework, if you do it right, will kill you."
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Erma Bombeck
"I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars."
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"It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding."
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