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Erma Bombeck

"One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is."

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"One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is."

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Donna Grant

"The condition you're in at this moment is the product of your previous thoughts, to change your condition, change your thoughts."

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Donna Grant

"Instead of clinging to the only Lifeboat that can save, we have tossed overboard biblical truths in the name of [compromise], living on the edge of life, like the man who rides the parameter of a hurricane, daring it to sweep him away."

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Donna Grant

"There is always a path to our target, the problem is to discover it!"

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Donna Grant

"Collect memories, they are your precious property."

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Donna Grant

"From a cleansed conscience emerges a changed life."

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Donna Grant

"Simple things have greater power than the complicated things!"

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Donna Grant

"If he did not speak his tale, it grew dank and musty, it shrank inside him, while with the telling the tale stayed fresh and virtuous."

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Donna Grant

"Abundance in life comes from generosity."

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Donna Grant

"To live in bliss, love everything, including people, unconditionally."

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Erma Bombeck
"Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other."
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Erma Bombeck
"A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend - and he's a priest."
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Erma Bombeck
"A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat."
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Erma Bombeck
"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'."
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Erma Bombeck
"I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair."
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Erma Bombeck
"How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?"
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Erma Bombeck
"My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car."
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Erma Bombeck
"Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth."
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Erma Bombeck
"Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments."
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Erma Bombeck
"Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated."
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