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Erma Bombeck

"Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago."

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"Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago."

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"Business is the salt of life."

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"Be the business never so painful, you may have it done for money."

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"Asking the appropriate questions means understanding exactly what your customer is trying to achieve."

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"Tell your good news as an evangelist would. Do so with a passion driven by a need to help and solve problems that some people didn't even know they had."

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"Recession is when a neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours."

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"Government "help" to business is just as disastrous as government persecution... the only way a government can be of service to national prosperity is by keeping its hands off."

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"Selling an electric sports car creates an opportunity to fundamentally change the way America drives."

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"The only way to make a great product is to make a product that people want."

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"It's OK to have your eggs in one basket as long as you control what happens to that basket."

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"Winning 'Motor Trend' Car of the year is probably the closest thing to winning the Oscar or Emmy of the car industry."

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Erma Bombeck
"A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend - and he's a priest."
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Erma Bombeck
"My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?"
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Erma Bombeck
"How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?"
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Erma Bombeck
"I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair."
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Erma Bombeck
"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'."
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Erma Bombeck
"For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it's time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward."
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Erma Bombeck
"A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat."
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Erma Bombeck
"In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet."
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Erma Bombeck
"Children make your life important."
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Erma Bombeck
"Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other."
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