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"Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago."
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"They call it "business" because it does not become successful by a person's "idleness". Go get busy if you want to do business; but be busy for the right reasons!"

"The movie business is very difficult but the music business is just impossible. So I'll play in bands and record and play songs with other people, but for me it's a form of expression that all I need is me. I don't need cameras or agents, I can just have a piano and sing and feel totally verified."

"The most successful people in the world today are entrepreneurs."

"We in universities are not in the democracy business. What we do, when we're doing it, is teach and learn."

"You have to learn when it's best to delegate those hard physical jobs to others while you tackle the heavy thinking."

"There are two kinds of warriors: those on the battlefield, and those in the boardroom; both are out to win. But the age of King Alexander has gone, and the age of Bill Gates has come."
Explore more quotes by Erma Bombeck


"There's something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she's only measured water in it."


"For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it's time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward."


"My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?"


"Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking with me when I go."


"I was terrible at straight items. When I wrote obituaries, my mother said the only thing I ever got them to do was die in alphabetical order."


"Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated."
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