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"God created man, but I could do better."
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"Religions do a useful thing: they narrow God to the limits of man. Philosophy replies by doing a necessary thing: it elevates man to the plane of God."

"God, our genes, our environment, or some stupid programmer keying in code at an ancient terminal - there's no way free will can ever exist if we as individuals are the result of some external cause."
Explore more quotes by Erma Bombeck


"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'."


"My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car."


"Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated."
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